Val Hogarth ~ 87 years
I would like to ask you to stay with me again, as I tell you about some things that happened to me some years ago. I would really like to tell the world about it, for it might cause people to stop and think about events that have happened to them, both good and glorious or bad and sad, and that have caused them to question… WHY ME?
Sorry, but we have to go through some more talk about operations before we get to the nitty gritty. This time it’s about the bother I had having my babies.
Apart from the usual whooping cough, mumps and measles of childhood in those days (before Immunization) and except for the SVT (heart palpitations) from which I had suffered since puberty, I had been a healthy girl before I married in 1952 and started to have a family.
1953: My first pregnancy miscarried at twelve weeks. Not unusual they said.
1954: My second pregnancy was quite traumatic. At five months I was overcome by extreme pain in my womb and was rushed to a nearby private hospital for an emergency operation that discovered a fallopian tube had strangled an ovary and become gangrenous. It was expected that I would lose my baby and possibly that I could die as well. Fortunately, it was not the tube feeding the baby that was affected. We both survived, thanks to the skill of the surgeon C.C.D, who was the chief surgeon at the Alfred Hospital at that time. He was a personal friend, who had a private practice. The wound was sown together with wire sutures. A dry dressing on top was held in place by cello tape. I was allergic to the tape, which caused blisters to develop and then turned into a rash, that nearly drove me mad as the scar widened and the baby grew. Four months later the baby was born: a beautiful little daughter, weighing 7lb 8 ounces. (You can work out the kilograms).
1955: My next child: another beautiful little daughter was born fourteen months later, weighing 8lb 4 ounces. This time doctors didn’t get all the afterbirth away, so a month later, in danger of dying of septicaemia, I was hospitalised to have a curette. It was such a mess in there that, accidentally, the surgeon (same one, same hospital) put the curette through the wall into my bladder. OOPS! Haemorrhage! Packed with dressings and copious doses of Streptomycin, I survived… again.
1957: Two years later, weighing 9lb 9 ounces, my bonny son was born at the Royal Women’s Hospital. The birth, without aesthetic and surrounded by students, was so traumatic for me, that for years I couldn’t think or speak of it without weeping.
Two months after his birth, like the cat, I got fixed and the scar had a bit of a tidy up. No more babies for me. The doctor had said it would be far too risky.
Then in 1970 I cooked up an ovarian cyst as big as an orange. Cancer was a concern, so a total hysterectomy was performed. Another tidy up. No more womb either. If not for the wonders of modern medicine, I could have died as a result of any of those three situations.
So now we fast-forward a couple of decades to about 1992. I was in the early days of my spiritual awakening process, before I got mixed up in that new age stuff.
I was resting in a chair … sort of meditating, (though I didn’t know how to and never did ‘get it’ till I found Serge), when suddenly there was a switch of consciousness!
It was as if I were an actor in a film. I was a young man… a Saracen warrior… on a horse galloping down a dusty road. This was not a dream. I was actually in his body, feeling and hearing the horse beneath me; feeling and smelling the dust and wind on his face; and watching him at the same time. I was wearing full regalia: turban, cloak and all. There was no doubt about the purpose for which the gear was intended, because I was holding a scimitar in my right hand and I could feel the heft of it. Ahead, on the right, a young woman was standing by the road waiting for me to pass. It was obvious that she was pregnant. As I swept past, without slowing and without emotion, I swung the scimitar up to slit her belly open and without looking back, continued galloping on.
I came to myself in shock and horror and cried out, “Please God, tell me I didn’t do that”!
This unsettled me for days.
Then one morning, when I was getting out of the shower, I glanced at myself in the mirror and my eyes went to the scar I bear, from my pubis to my belly button… that ugly scar left by the operations I’d had on my womb. I stood transfixed, staring at that scar as it dawned on me… it was actually KARMA that was the CAUSE of all the difficulties, pain and close calls I had experienced having my babies!!
What on earth had caused me to do such an unforgivable thing? What had I believed that would sanction such heartless cruelty? I didn’t know her. She seemed to be just a stranger in the wrong place at the wrong time. What had she done to me that would condone such a brutal act of cold-blooded murder?
The fact that I was a Saracen warrior would place the scene as sometime around the time of the crusades: hundreds of years ago… Christians invading Arab land… told by the Pope that all their sins would be forgiven if they went off to fight for Jerusalem… permission to rape, slaughter and pillage on the way and all done in the name of religion! Ingrained hatred on both sides, creating separation. Sound familiar? Could that little mother have been a Christian? Or of another race, tribe, colour or creed? She must simply have been ‘different’ to me in some way or didn’t believe what I believed at that time.
That this happened to me in such a way is proof to me that, regardless of what we may think or believe… regardless of whether we are religious or not, regardless of whether we are a sceptic or just don’t care… NOBODY GETS AWAY WITH ANYTHING… Good or Bad… eventually it all returns to you. That heartless cruel action of mine had taken a very long time to catch up with me. But catch up it did. Three fold.
There will be those of you who will not want to believe me. Can’t say I blame you for I didn’t want to believe it myself. You can make of it what you will. But the fact is that it, that switch of consciousness really happened to me. All of it is true. If it were not… imagine the karma I would be bringing upon myself… especially having it published in this venue where energetic truth is absolute.
So now let’s fast forward again to 2010 and my discovery of the Ancient Wisdom Teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon, where I have learned that KARMA IS THE UNIVERSAL LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT and WE ARE ALL SUBJECT TO IT. There is also another aspect of Karma regarding INTENT that is equally important for us to consider and understand.
The Ancient Wisdom Teachings explain that REINCARNATION is to give us the opportunity of redress by way of evolution to return to our own Loving Soul Essence. That divine essence resides in the inner hearts of all human beings. It is the responsibility of each and every one of us to find our own way back via the Path of Return and thus eventually, no longer be subject to the Wheel of Karma. An act, such as I described, would no longer be possible.
We have all had hundreds, even thousands of incarnations, lived within light or darkness or a mixture of both.
What is worth pondering, as we make decisions about how we live out this incarnation is to contemplate …WHY ME?
I wish to thank Serge Benhayon for giving me, in my old age, this insightful understanding…. and a Way of Living that is full of Love, Wisdom, Wonder and Joy.