Serge Benhayon was a 44th birthday gift – literally…
To an observer, my ex and I fitted the ‘picture perfect’ – a sweet home in affluent and beautiful north-west London, lots of lovely friends (with a splash of celebrities to boot), gorgeous children, a selection of classic Jaguars, regular ski trips to Klosters throughout the year, lengthy annual sunbathing in Monaco… a picture worthy of envy, even from the contented.
A day before I turned 44, I was on the phone to a close friend spilling my woes down the electronic lines because my relationship had been falling to pieces, as was my inability to stay in or out… the ‘can’t do with him, can’t do without him’ syndrome. “You may want to go and see this guy, Serge Benhayon,” a friend suggested. She also added that Serge was not everyone’s cup of tea, because what he presented could push people’s buttons.
So when asked what gift I wanted for my birthday I requested an opportunity to meet Serge Benhayon. This humble, meticulous and purposeful man would turn out to be instantaneously very much my cup of herb tea!
My partner and I had sessions with Serge and attended various healing courses. Our lives changed for the better, as did our communications. And then as a matter of course, the relationship came to some sort of breaking point where a deeper commitment to true love, which resembles not emotional love but a greater dedication to each other, to our families and to our friends, in fact, all with whom we come in contact, was the next evolutionary step in our “I do” vows: commitment to which we responded differently and so parting became inevitable; as did unfortunately the employment of legal eagles.
I began to harbour resentment and even fury towards the very man with whom I had spent a decent chunk of my life and raised four children with, someone I had held on a pedestal. Every nucleus of my being knew that it was wrong to have those feelings but I seemed to have no memory of another way of being.
Frequently at relationship dissolution stage lots of finger pointing and blame throwing in each other’s courts occurs and we put this type of behaviour down to ‘human nature’ – a cheap and easy route to bid farewell, instead of taking personal responsibility in the melting of our relationship.
What I have discovered with the helping and caring hand of the most amazing of practitioners, Serge Benhayon, is that feelings of anger, rage, resentment and fury are all results of our own choices and not some random, ‘outside of ourselves’ ploy over which we have no control.
I came to know in my bones that all the fury was self-fury, all the resentment my own bitter pill. I wanted things to be different which caused deep resentment of the past and frustration at the time. Aided by Serge’s wisdom and the discovery of true self-love, I also discovered the extent to which I had chosen to not live true love in my life.
I turned to Serge, as I would have to a wise, supportive and all knowing father and the support that consistently came back is what I shall treasure for eternity, yet something I did not always appreciate at the time, simply because Serge’s responses didn’t always match my expectations. Rather, I was looking for Serge to say; “Oh, yes, it’s terrible what He is doing… Yes, you are right Dragana… Poor you… it’s not your fault etc.” I wanted sympathy and I wanted empathy and lorry loads of both, but zilch of this calibre came from the great man and equally great practitioner that Serge Benhayon is. On the contrary!
Serge kept gently and tenderly reminding me that it is not about what percentage of the assets I get, but that it is about standing still and presenting (ONLY) in and from Love that which is true. That I should make it about Love – love for myself and love for my partner, love for All. That I should take it easy on myself and learn “that when I self-love, each error builds greater wonders ahead.” That if I didn’t make it about love, even with the man I am sitting on the opposite side in the court of law from, it would be my failing . . .
On one occasion and at the peak of my ‘court room dramas’, when Serge was presenting in England, I happened to walk in on the middle of a healing session exchange between students. Serge stood at the back of the room, and so as I stepped in I found myself standing next to him. He was sharing with everyone how infrequently we tell people that we truly love them and how important it is to actually verbalise it.
When he switched off his mike he turned gently towards me, and quietly, ‘out of the blue’ affirmed: “You Do Love Simon – you know that.”
Streams of tears rolled down for a few reasons: I knew I felt genuine love for the man I called my husband, but acknowledged my many unloving acts, thoughts, expressions towards him and the magnitude of the fact that Serge would be the one to remind me of that love in the midst of our court case. That Serge NEVER took sides, that he NEVER said a word, not a single letter to inflame, but did everything to show me that the only way in life is with True Love.
That someone can feel that level of Love for EVERY human being is unheard of and colossal.
And so when our first hearing ended up in my favour, there was no fist punching in the air, no hats thrown up and no feeling that I was the gold medal winner. No triumph, just a natural contentment that truth and love were reflected in the judge’s verdict.
A few months later when our family home acquired a new owner and all our assets had been split amicably, we stood outside by our removal vans and we hugged goodbye. Not your ordinary and not your typical forgive-and-forget type parting, but an amazing, true happy ending. Nothing left unclear, untidy or unsaid.
With Serge Benhayon’s tremendous support I stood there with the utmost understanding of the wisdom he so often shared with me in person and online: “… that every relationship is but an opportunity, a possibility and not a given in any way”.
That I am to hold a consistent way of being that only reflects truth, and brings true love, which will always be there for another as something to pull back towards when the other person’s ready. That this will eventually become something all of us will never leave in ourselves.
One day, when we are All ready…
That my separation ended on such a harmonious and exceptional note for all parties involved, something incomprehensible to many, I have only ONE man on Earth to thank: an out of this world practitioner – Serge Benhayon. Through him I have learnt that Love counts even in Separation!
My gratitude is oceans’ deep for all that Serge Benhayon is and the immensity that he brings.
This piece was approved and published with the consent of my former partner, who I hold in my heart.