Friend Healing Reincarnation

Abortion and Religion: Breaking the Silence

January 15, 2017
Abortion and Religion: A personal account written by Heidi Baldwin

Devout Catholics hold very strong opinions about contraception and abortion. It is well documented that they oppose the use of any contraceptives; even those guaranteed to curb the endemic rates of AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections throughout many developing countries. Equally, they vocalise their opinion that abortion is inherently evil. In their view, even pregnancy spawned from rape is no justification for terminating a pregnancy. These beliefs are rooted in the notion that life is created at the moment the sperm enters the egg, that from this point, a brand new soul is created. It is also imparted that this new life, brought about solely via the physical act of a man and woman procreating, is bound to obtain salvation, or doomed to experience eternal hellfire.

Hinduism appears to offer a more enlightened view in regard to reincarnation. It is, however, equally embroiled in dogmatic beliefs, which limit a woman to terminating a pregnancy only if her life or mental wellbeing are at risk. She is defined as needing to fulfil familial and societal obligations to rear a child, preferably a male. Ironically, this preference for men to continue the family line is in itself, a common reason for abortions (female foeticide) throughout India. Hinduism, much like other mainstream religions, discounts the deeper intuition, connection and inner-knowing that women have access to, to innately feel what is the right course of action for them at such a crossroad.

It is not the purpose of this prelude to summarise all the major religions and their stance on a woman’s right to abort. Suffice to say, that mainstream religious views throughout the world condemn those who actively choose abortion as their future path. This results in millions of women across the globe resorting to unsafe, out-dated and demeaning practices to abort unwanted pregnancies in secrecy. This is the most obvious ill, but even women who have access to a proper and safe procedure are not free of the stigma either. Through these commonly held misconceptions, they are made to feel like sinners, selfish and worse still, murderers. Additionally, it is broadly understood that discussion of aborting a child is taboo, let alone sharing their personal experience with others. If women did share, however, they would be shocked to find how many others close in their midst have gone through the same process in silence and secret.

Serge Benhayon’s re-founding of The Way of The Livingness presents a refreshing and empowering connection to the deeper truths of life, death, reincarnation and a person’s right to choose his/her path. Unlike other religions, which segregate women as less than men in all areas, unable to hold equally pious positions within their congregation and ultimately, unable to choose abortion, The Way of The Livingness truly empowers women. Women are supported to connect to their inner knowing and to choose what is right for them, free from social ideals or out-dated male driven perspectives masquerading as God’s word.

The fundamental understanding is that we are all eternal beings experiencing human life, but never bound to it. We each have accumulated a reservoir of choices that amass to a lived quality and level of integrity. This we bring with us in each incarnation. The physicality of procreation is merely the worldly outplay to provide a vehicle of expression (a body) to a spirit/soul entering the physical plane for evolution.

I began this life as an unplanned foetus and initially, an unwanted child. It was my mother who made the choice to follow through with the pregnancy and my father, originally uncertain, soon agreed. I grew up as an only child and watched my parents divorce at the age of five. Even I was quite happy with the split. The love was long gone (if it was ever truly there to begin with) and they themselves were both eager to free themselves from the convenient, yet suffocating arrangement.

When boys came onto the scene as a teenager, I began to tread the well-known path of many girls before me: kissing, hand holding and fooling around, either at the movies, parties or each other’s houses. Where I differed, however, was that I left actual sex until a lot later. I had a deep inner knowing that this sacred act was not worthy of enacting after a drunken night with someone who just happened to be there and showed interest. My first time was with my then future husband at 22 years of age, fully sober, with a deep love and commitment in my heart.

We were always sure to use condoms. My mother, spurred on by an influential friend, had insisted I go on the pill as a preventative measure throughout my teens. Somewhat hurt by this, I knew I was nowhere near ready for such a step; I obligingly went along to the doctor to discuss my options. I took the first pill and became aware that my body and my essence felt somewhat separated. Granted, I wouldn’t have been able to articulate it the same way then, but with this ‘beside myself’ feeling, I only took the pill once more and then decided to discard the rest.

My future husband was always happy to wear a condom and it felt like the most supportive choice, without having to rely on an implant or oral pill to ensure we remained childfree. It was an incredible experience of exploration and surrender that, even now, continues to unfold and blossom with each fresh union.

After diligently using condoms, I heard some things about the Billings Method. Effectively, it supports women to become more in touch with their cycles via observation of cervical mucus and committing to an in-depth record of period and ovulation dates. With this information, you can choose to have unprotected sex during sections of time where you are sure to be infertile. Alas, I misheard this information; chose not to apply it in full and thus, an unwanted pregnancy resulted.

On the very first day after my period had finished my husband and I became intimate. I had the idea that surely the day after would mean I was safe. As it turns out, this was very, very wrong. As a result, I fell pregnant the very first time we had unprotected sex.

I felt the difference in my body immediately and rather quickly went off to the chemist to buy a test. As I sat, looking at the positive result, I felt calm within myself. I had an absolute knowing that this was not the right time for my partner and me. I was still studying and in the midst of a practical placement and my partner was working on building his business. We had very little, if anything, in the way of saving and we were still unmarried.

During this time, I felt to email a dear friend and mentor. I contacted Serge Benhayon not so much for counsel, but more so for confirmation. I recounted what happened and that I felt it wasn’t the right time. Most astoundingly (you’d think so too if you knew just how busy this man is), he suggested we chat and said he was there on call if needed. We talked and Serge simply supported me to make my own choice, free of judgement or investment. It was an incredible blessing to have such a steady and loving support available. His focus was absolute that I do, what supported my partner and me in full.

As time passed I began to feel myself change. I was moody, emotional and became a recluse. I postponed my practical placement for two weeks and chose instead to stay at home, watching copious amounts of television on a mattress dragged into the living room, with all the curtains drawn. My eating changed and I began to have cravings for foods that were not to my usual taste and I retreated from the loving warmth of my partner, becoming verbally abusive and downright irrational.

An outsider may well have observed this situation and concluded that I was someone who was struggling to come to terms with terminating the pregnancy. This could not have been further from the truth. I could feel, to my very core, that abortion was the right step. Others might attribute my severe shift in mental state to hormones and nothing more. This may have played a small part, but could in no way be attributed to my completely altered disposition.

With the support of a dear friend who had gone through a similar experience with his partner, my husband and I booked the procedure after having felt into which clinic was the most supportive. The day came and my husband, mother-in-law and I left for the operation. My husband was amazing throughout this time; he expressed understanding, was observant and completely supportive.

After the initial consultation, to ensure this was the right step for us, I left the familiarity of my family for a separate waiting room. I experienced this incredible calm pass over me and I waited, without anxiety, for the brief discussion with the doctor who’d be preforming the operation. He was very sweet, albeit a little racy from too much caffeine and he explained diligently the procedure in detail.

I must confess that the experience of the operation theatre was confronting: lying  on the operating table, without underwear and placing my legs on the stirrups provided. The professionalism of the staff soon put me at ease as I drifted off with the aid of the general anaesthetic. 

Meanwhile, while my husband waited, he felt the moment the abortion took place. He felt calmness spread throughout his body and this was confirmed by a call from the clinic staff moments later, saying they would soon be ready to release me. When I awoke, I was in absolute awe of the deep settlement I felt. I felt incredibly clear headed, connected to my body and completely aware of its delicacy and preciousness. My bodily movements were graceful and I was content. I was completely myself once more.

The philosophies of The Way of the Livingness took away from my choice all unnecessary, but unfortunately all too common, fear, anxiety, controlling dogma and nightmarish tales of condemnation. I was left in the freedom to choose, as an empowered woman in total control of my destiny. There was and still is no shame, no regret, no thoughts of, ‘what if.’ If anything, the experience has deepened my appreciation for pregnancy and childbirth. I was supported to trust, claim and subsequently surrender to my own knowing.

Currently my husband and I are discussing having children. We talk about our viewpoints on how to raise responsible and loving members of the community. We look deeper into our finances to ensure we are adequately supported for the shift in our family unit. We reflect on our behaviours, rhythms, relationship and quality of livingness, confirming our strengths and bringing our focus to areas which need more love.

I am in love with this process. Most importantly, because I have the power to choose.

Thank God for Serge Benhayon.

Thank God for The Way of the Livingness.

“All of the problems we now endure globally as a result of the illegal or restrictive regulations on abortion are caused by the laws and the dogma that purports it and not by the act of abortion itself. Think about it — a woman aborting her unwanted pregnancy is not left traumatised by the medical procedure, but by the judgement of it being considered right or wrong in the eyes of society and religion. 
We are doing more harm by what we impose.”

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  • Reply Stephanie Stevenson January 15, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Heidi this blog is so deeply honest, which is in itself, a blessing to cut through all the attitudes, ideals and beliefs imposed upon women regarding abortion. To be able to speak with someone (Serge Benhayon) who had no attachment to outcomes, only to offer support to you in coming to the truth of what was true for you and your partner is a gift beyond measure and far from the usual ‘right or wrong’ scenario that is often used to find solutions to problems. From this conversation you were given the opportunity to simply feel and know the true answer from within, without complicating it with the mind chatter.
    Super cool.
    “We talked and Serge simply supported me to make my own choice, free of judgement or investment. It was an incredible blessing to have such a steady and loving support available. His focus was absolute that I do, what supported my partner and me in full”.

    • Reply Johanna Smith January 19, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      I agree. It is an extremely honest sharing and huge to feel all you are sharing here. We are often influenced consciously and subconsciously with such touching topics – yet how simple does it all become when we are empowered to just bring it back to ourselves and what we feel best from within for our situation and those involved. This support to be with our inner wisdom that was offered is life changing and completely free.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 27, 2017 at 7:49 am

      The more connected with our essence we are, the more naturally we make choices that not only deeply support ourself, but are also honouring of the whole. I am noticing more and more how at times we are not able to see the perfection of the whole scenario when we single out one bit and have expectations of what it needs to look like, yet again and again I am blown away when I see the love unfold as people make choices impulsed from their Soul. Serge Benhayon is a great support in this , because just the way he relates to people encourages them trust themselves and choose from their heart.

    • Reply Sandra Vicary January 5, 2018 at 5:03 am

      Absolutely Stephanie. I wonder how many ‘unwanted’ pregnancies could be avoided if we all had such valuable and wise advice , that took into consideration the circumstances of the people concerned so that they would be fully supported, whatever thier choice.

  • Reply Judith Andras January 15, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    Bringing a child into this world is a huge responsibility and should be claimed in full and not just submitted to because the woman accidentally fell pregnant. To give a woman the choice empowers her to trust her own feeling what is right for her or not.
    This is a very honest and powerful blog Heidi and it will encourage women all around the world to claim back their right to make choices that are in sync with their bodies and state of being.

    • Reply Johanna Smith January 19, 2017 at 5:45 pm

      Often having children today is taken very lightly as is not thought out, not saved for, not accounted for in the big decision but mostly the grand responsibility it is. Mostly parents want to do the best for their children but how many of us ask ‘are we ready for this responsibility’ knowing that it is a member of society that we’ll be raising.

      • Reply Natallija May 19, 2017 at 5:50 am

        Yes the word RESPONSIBILITY doesn’t seem to come into the equation when we are capturing by the ideals and beliefs that are sold to us about parenting. The white picket fence approach with little consideration into the level of quality we live that is in turn is reflected to our young. We have a licence to drive a car to keep ourselves and others safe on the road. That includes keeping it road worthy, paying insurance and licence fees. Maybe this should apply to parenting as well?

    • Reply Vicky Cooke January 31, 2017 at 8:07 am

      Women should always be able to have the choice regarding their body, currently this is still not the case in places such as Ireland when it comes to abortion. It is high time these archaic ill beliefs are abolished once and for all.

    • Reply Natallija July 14, 2017 at 11:37 am

      An absolute choice that is governed by the body that holds this responsibility.

  • Reply Jonathan Stewart January 15, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    The philosophies of The Way of the Livingness bring an understanding to the complexities of life that is refreshing and wise, that life becomes much more straightforward and simple.

    A truly powerful, groundbreaking article.

    By hiding the topic of abortion we hide the whole question of, ‘What does it mean to be a parent?’

    • Reply Johanna Smith January 19, 2017 at 5:48 pm

      A great question Jonathan. How many of us truly feel that it is our choice to be a parent? And what does being a parent mean?
      For me it is all about raising a child to be all they truly are so it makes sense to look at the quality of Livingness, relationships, financial stability and space that that child will be coming into. And then ask is that all a support for this little one to shine who they truly are?

      • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh February 3, 2017 at 1:53 am

        Great points Jonathan & Johanna. Considering abortion is part and parcel of responsibly considering parenthood and assessing if we truly feel we are ready for it.

    • Reply Rowena Stewart March 24, 2017 at 4:20 pm

      Great point Jonathan, I agree. Choosing to have an abortion is not an easy choice to make, but an essential option that is, in my opinion, every woman’s right and one we will fully embrace when we truly understand the massive responsibility that parenthood carries. As Johanna confirms, our true responsibility is ensuring that our circumstances, understanding and awareness will support and empower our children to flourish and express who they truly are. Forcing a woman to give birth regardless of her situation is not only a massive injustice to her, but the child too, and an injustice that ultimately affects us all.

  • Reply Andrew Mooney January 15, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Thank you Heidi for writing this blog so honestly and opening up this much needed conversation. How many unplanned or ‘unwanted children’ must there be in the world? And does anyone pay any attention to how much love and care they actually receive? There is so much focus on the act of terminating a pregnancy or not, rather than considering the bigger picture of what is the quality of life that any child may have. We have fallen for the ideal of as long a child has parents then everything is fine but how many children grow up in abusive families, or deprived ones, or neglectful ones, or just families where the parents did not really want to have children but did so because that is what everyone else around them was doing? We need to think much broader here than just the narrow debate on abortion. We need to look and support people to truly make an informed and wise decision as to whether to have children or not and when in their life they feel it is right to do so.

    • Reply Luke Yokota January 15, 2017 at 8:33 pm

      Andrew you have just given the way of thinking every hot topic needs to progress.

    • Reply Mary Sanford April 1, 2017 at 11:10 pm

      Andrew I agree with you. Today it seems people have children for all the wrong reasons, I have watched as parents have fought with each other on how to raise their children and use them as pawns in their desire to get the upper hand and final say. Both seemingly failing to realise that they are crushing their child by the way they abuse each other. Children hate to see their parents fight. It is such an unsettlement for them. I find it rather strange that we have so many universities that offer a plethora of subjects to be studied but I have never heard of one that offers a degree for raising children. To me it is the most important responsibility we have in life and that is to raise children to be responsible for themselves and to live with something that is sorely missing/lacking… personal integrity.

      • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh May 13, 2017 at 5:46 am

        Perhaps if we took the area of ‘raising a child’ as seriously as we should and if just like you suggest we considered training programmes and other resources to support people to be great parents, we would realise the depth of responsibility required for this role. And perhaps we would stop being so trigger happy about condemning those who realise they are in no position honour such a role and instead opt for an abortion.

        • Reply Natallija May 20, 2017 at 9:12 pm

          Great point raised Golnaz. Raising children can be a blessing with the support of others who are willing to go to true depths of responsibility so that the quality they live is shared with the younger generation. This entails feeling that a medical procedure such as an “abortion” is not taboo or a sin – but a decision a woman/couple are making that best support the choice to parent or not to parent.

    • Reply Stephen Gammack April 5, 2017 at 4:50 am

      So true Andrew, and I wonder if those who are pro life are necessary pro quality of life. It certainly seems there is not a lot of love in the way they put across their argument or try to shut down others. I can understand why people view life as precious, and it should be, but when you listen to Heidi talk on this subject, you cant fail to feel the love in the decisions she has made and how this was the best way forward given her circumstances.

    • Reply Rowena Stewart April 19, 2017 at 2:42 pm

      Wise words Andrew Mooney. The debate on abortion is a huge decoy away from us truly considering the whole picture. What an immense shift in society it would be if we put these considerations to the forefront of our awareness. If we truly treasure the lives of our children, then ensuring the quality of their lives after they have been born requires just as much if not more attention, responsibility and awareness than the debate about abortion. Abortion has a rightful place in our societies and women have a right to choose how and when they wish to bring a child into this world for all the reasons you have stated.

      • Reply Stephanie Stevenson May 22, 2017 at 3:48 am

        I agree with you Rowena about this being a huge decoy to not be aware of the bigger picture – that of the consequences for children who are born to parents who ‘made a mistake’ and see the children as an unwanted nuisance throughout their lives. Would they receive the joy of being met in full and valued for who they are? It would be preferable for women (and their partners) to be able to make a choice about whether they could be truly responsible and open-hearted parents or not.

    • Reply Kehinde James July 26, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      Brilliant Andrew. The bigger picture you present confirms the truth: it is not just about giving life but ensuring children born into homes and families are wanted, loved and nurtured. The pro-life lobby could do well to focus their energies on the abuse of children within the Catholic and other church schools, institutions as well as families. Where are the demonstrations against abuse of children by clergy, teachers and families. Children deserve not just of life but a quality of life that is safe, loving and nurturing. The biggest evil is not abortion but allowing the level of abuse that exists against children to continue without opposition.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 20, 2017 at 1:54 am

      Andrew thank you for stating the ‘elephant in the room’ size truth on this subject. We can not in any shape or form claim that we have a world in which all children are enjoying lives where they are loved, nurtured and supported. so indeed why has the focus been on abortion, and why is there a desire to force people into bringing children into the world even when they are unwilling and unable. I completely agree “We need to look and support people to truly make an informed and wise decision as to whether to have children or not and when in their life they feel it is right to do so.”

  • Reply Leigh Strack January 15, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    An article that brings to all women the gift of choice. The honesty and openness shared here is testament to the deep inner knowing that we all have. To listen to it and respond as Heidi has done is the greatest gift, as through her sharing each of us can again feel the truth and power of choice. Something we have and always have had.

  • Reply James Nicholson January 15, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    Heidi, a very poweful sharing. There is soo much taboo around abortions it is like they are the unspoken about thing that goes on and then lingers undealt with, pushed to one side. What I have found amazing is quite how common abortions and miscarriages actually are – so there is no shame or no need to suffer in silence. Thank you for opening the discussion on such an unspoken about subject.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 23, 2017 at 4:35 am

      Yes when something is taboo, people are forced to feel there is something wrong with them and suffer in silence. We need more open discussions such as this, so that not only people realise they are not the only ones to have had such experiences in their lives, but also we can learn so much from one another, deepen our understanding and offer healing support to those who require it.

  • Reply sue queenborough January 15, 2017 at 7:09 pm

    Thank you for sharing your personal experience with such openness Heidi. A woman has a 9 month pregnancy and is often the main care-giver after birth, even in this day and age. Surely it is she alone who should have the right to choose whether to pursue with an unplanned pregnancy – or not. “I was left in the freedom to choose, as an empowered woman in total control of my destiny.” So good to hear.

  • Reply Nikki McKee January 15, 2017 at 7:12 pm

    Thank you for sharing Heidi. It seems so much pain and trauma can be carried for women who have an abortion. You cut through all of that and bring it back to a loving choice and a woman knowing what was the right thing for her to do.

  • Reply Tricia Nicholson January 15, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    This is a very empowering honest blog for all women and all children alike. It is world attitude changing and would prevent unwanted births and children and gives the right to all women to feel and choose what is a huge and amazing responsibility for a child to be loved, cherished, nurtured and honoured. Religion has so much to answer for and our stigmas and indoctrinations and it is only The Way of the Livingness that allows true freedom, love and integrity honouring women to be in their innate sacredness and wisdom to shine and be claimed in respect of herself and for the all. Serge Benhayon is offering the truth with true love and support for us all to feel and allow women the honouring, respect and sacredness we all are. Thank you Heidi for your beautiful sharing and openess.

  • Reply Luke Yokota January 15, 2017 at 7:41 pm

    Such a supportive article that many couples are facing this very moment.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 7, 2017 at 1:46 am

      Yes Luke such conversations, that remove the cloud of judgment, blame, misunderstanding and ignorance cast over aspects of life that have a large impact on so many, are invaluable.

  • Reply vivvy butler January 15, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    Heidi, your writing will help so many women who have had abortions or are about to have one, to let go of possibly feeling any guilt, sadness and shame that can last for many years, allowing them to freely move on.

  • Reply Beverley Bulmer January 15, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    Thank you Heidi. This is a beautiful and open sharing of a topic which is so often hidden and laced with secrecy, which induces shame, guilt and regret. When in fact it is as you share here, that abortion is more widely used than we perhaps realise at a first glance.

    Just in my head I can think of several of the women I know who have had this experience, including myself.

    At the time it was not widely discussed and when it was, the opinions of those close to me came thick and fast, very few, if any, being supportive. Making it a time where I felt alone in my choice but once made it was so very obviously the right one for me as raising a child alone with little or no support was not true for me and I feel would have been very irresponsible.

    I hid the fact from many others other than a close circle around me as the stigma of this being a taboo subject was so strong but I actually have no regret or shame, although it was something that I initially felt from what was coming towards me at the time.

    Thank you again for opening the conversation on this topic as it is something that needs to be discussed as it is not the ‘wrong’ that so many try to make it.

  • Reply Katerina Nikolaidis January 15, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    This is such a healing blog to read for all women, whether we have had children or not, or have had an abortion or not. Its healing power comes from the fact that this is written by a woman who is absolute in her knowing that she is the one who knows what her body needs and what her body is ready for. It is this wisdom, this sacred relationship with our bodies, that women have been robbed of, and it is sharing such as these that re-ignite this connection with ourselves once more.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 26, 2017 at 8:16 am

      Yes it is empowering reading a woman so absolutely claiming her awareness and integrity in all areas of her life, including her choice to terminate her pregnancy.

      • Reply Natallija July 18, 2017 at 5:50 am

        The claiming is so powerful to read as this is what brings so much inspiration to us all. So often we can be bombarded with the ideals and beliefs of others think even though our body is sharing the message that with this decision like many others we are not truly following through with what is real and needed. It is so refreshing to read that when we step up to claim this, it offers another the space to feel just as safe to do the same.

  • Reply Katerina Nikolaidis January 15, 2017 at 7:56 pm

    These words are still lingering in me because of the power with which they have been written :’ I am in love with this process. Most importantly, because I have the power to choose.’

  • Reply Michael Brown January 15, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    Wow Heidi, Thank you for bringing such a stunning blog to the world. An inspiration to women worldwide.

    Thank you Heidi for sharing what is a very personal and intimate story with us all. It takes one to be very solid to write with this authority completely void of emotion and investment.

  • Reply Jeanette Macdonald January 15, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    This is so groundbreaking Heidi and so is your honesty here. I am particularly in love with one of your last sentences “I am in love with this process. Most importantly, because I have the power to choose.” May the many women who would benefit from your wisdom find their way to your words.

  • Reply Leigh Matson January 15, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    What I really love about this blog is how still it feels, I have never read an account of abortion in such a way before. This is groundbreaking in the fact that it shows that such a charged topic and situation can be lived in a completely different way. Thank you Heidi.

  • Reply Leah Pash January 15, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    Thank you Heidi, for such a ground-breaking and deeply honest blog. The whole time I was reading your blog, I too remember the deep settlement I felt after I had my procedure of abortion and the warmth I woke up in.

    My husband and I both had the dedicated support from Serge Benhayon and another family member who lovingly and without any judgment, was always there for us throughout the process. What I love about your blog is how similar your experience was to the one I had too. I also changed in my behaviours and craved strange foods outside of my diet, but the best part about it was that I had no sense of guilt or condemnation when I was signing the forms at the abortion clinic. I was not emotional or attached, but rather calm and confident. We both knew it was not the right time and the procedure became a huge healing process in the meantime.

    The following pregnancy I had after my first abortion was definitely very different. Both my husband and I had planned it and it felt true and strongly impulsed.

    It has been a huge responsibility having a child and such a huge learning and evolving process for myself and my husband. If we were to have another one, I feel we would both be in such a different space to where we were with the first pregnancy.

    Yes – Thank God for The way of the Livingness and Thank God for Serge Benhayon. I absolutely agree.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh February 15, 2017 at 8:32 am

      Thank you for sharing your experience of your abortion Leah. The huge difference between how you and your husband related to the first and second pregnancy clearly shows that we can not possibly pigeon hole everyones’s situation and experience and assume to know how they need to respond. Each case is different and needs to be honoured as such.

  • Reply Monica Gillooly January 15, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    Heidi, thank you for such an amazing blog. I feel very strongly how you felt and honoured what was right for you and how the support you received allowed you the freedom to make your own choice. So many children are brought into the world unwanted and beyond the birth are neglected and uncared for. There is something seriously skewed about the whole abortion debate when it’s all about stopping abortions or judging those women who have them, but there is no consideration of the wider context, and in fact the hypocrisy of this is exposed by the fact that little care is often given to many children after they are born, and those campaigning against abortion would often be the same people campaigning against support for vulnerable women and children. Your experience is amazing to hear and read as it shows how it can be for a woman when she is supported and free to make her own choice without overriding dogmas which are imposed by culture, religion or family. There have been so many lies and so much control around abortion that we miss the understanding that each case is a choice and each woman knows in her what is the needed choice for her in that moment. Thank you for your honesty in sharing your experience, it’s hugely healing to read and very important for all of us to understand that there is so much more to this than we’ve been willing to consider before. And thank God for a religion like the Way of the Livingness which support equality and true choice for all.

  • Reply Esther Auf der Maur January 15, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    This is such an important sharing for us women, to allow ourselves to honour what we know to be true for us, even, or especially when faced with decisions that may not receive much understanding. Thank you Heidi for your courage to share your experience, as I’m sure it will help many women bring more love and loving empowerment into their lives and their decisions. Thank God indeed for The Way of the Livingness, for Serge Benhayon and for Heidi Baldwin!

  • Reply Gyl Rae January 15, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    There is so much in here that I am going to have to come back and read it again, at the moment I cannot take it all in. I have never read anything like this from a woman or anyone talking about abortions. There is such a strong stigma around this, that it’s ‘wrong’ and many images. What also come to mind is the level of responsibility both you and your husband live.

    • Reply Stephen Gammack February 24, 2017 at 1:25 pm

      I couldn’t agree more Gyl, the responsibility and love shines through. I also like to consider the way Heidi described her experiences when she fell pregnant. Incredible to feel the insight that Heidi was getting as to whether the pregnancy was right or not to follow through on.

  • Reply Sandra Henden January 16, 2017 at 2:30 am

    Unfortunately, we as a human populace, have allowed religion to control and dominate our lives over and above allowing and honouring what we know to be true for ourselves. Thank you Heidi, for your honest and open sharing. I haven’t had an abortion, but I have had a miscarriage and the feelings of guilt that it must have been my fault were quite strong, not to mention disappointment, so I imagine that the initial decision to go ahead and abort must have been quite difficult for you and your husband, so thank goodness you had the support and understanding of your family and Serge Benhayon which supported you in making that choice which you knew to be true for yourself.

    • Reply Christoph Schnelle August 29, 2017 at 4:53 am

      The common reason given is that religion gives old men power over everybody else. I wonder why everybody else allows this to happen?

  • Reply Vicky Cooke January 16, 2017 at 2:33 am

    Recently I have heard a lot of sad stories of young girls in Ireland that are condemned for having an abortion. It is extremely sad. As you say they resort to options that are dangerous to their health and do not have the proper medical support. This is a time a girl/woman should be supported the most not abandoned or condemned. The ill beliefs and ideals in cultures and religion to do with abortion are archaic and should be abolished. As others have shared your story is powerful but most of all the love throughout the whole experience was palpably felt. Also this is beautifully said and so true ‘The Way of The Livingness truly empowers women. Women are supported to connect to their inner knowing and to choose what is right for them, free from social ideals or out-dated male driven perspectives masquerading as God’s word.’

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 16, 2017 at 3:04 am

    You used the phrase “out-dated male driven perspectives masquerading as God’s word”. The extent to which mainstream religions are riddled with such dictations is astonishing, and the fact that people are in effect bullying and abusing one another whilst blaming their choice on God makes a mockery of both religion and God. How did religious dogma ever become the authority over and above a woman’s personal awareness of her own body and life situation? It is quite absurd. Thank you for such an honest, informative and insightful blog.

    The fact that so many women have abortions means it is something that requires loving and caring attention. It is interesting that often the trauma that the women experience after a termination is sited as evidence of it being considering wrong and unnatural, yet as stated here and by many many women it is the stigma and the attitudes around it that are at the basis of such psychological turmoil much more than the actual choice and the procedure of the termination itself.

  • Reply Mary-Louise Myers January 16, 2017 at 3:53 am

    I deeply appreciate your candid blog on abortion. This is a topic that needs to be openly discussed, to dispel all the ideals and beliefs around it, so that women have the freedom to choose whether or not they want to have an abortion.

  • Reply Eva Rygg January 16, 2017 at 5:37 am

    ‘I was left in the freedom to choose, as an empowered woman in total control of my destiny. ‘ – A truly powerful statement Heidi – thank you for sharing this profoundly important experience with us. Every woman needs to know that they have the freedom to choose.

  • Reply Benkt van Haastrecht January 16, 2017 at 6:16 am

    This is an amazing article, showing us that having children should be a choice, not determined by the faith of mistakes. Empowering everyone who is in a similar position.

  • Reply Christine Hogan January 16, 2017 at 6:16 am

    Huge topic but only as big as the power we give it. This blog opens more pondering on the power of choice. In every instance we are offered the opportunity to choose the quality of our next movement or decision. Every choice is equal in their importance and never is the one before separated from the one to come. The subject of ‘abortion’ instantly raises the many ideals, beliefs and pictures we hold around this subject. It is also further complicated and used by religions, race and culture to shackle the innate honouring of a woman to make a loving choice, something that is practiced every other moment in the day, choices that the woman herself lives with, choices that Humanity is at ease with most of the time. Thank you Heidi for not allowing the ‘imposed’ views of various dogmas to impact the way you had already been living which was honouring of yourself and others. This is a beautiful and life-giving (and life changing) blog.

  • Reply Eduardo Feldman January 16, 2017 at 6:29 am

    The whole abortion thing is heavily loaded by ideals, beliefs, images. There is a lot any woman who goes through it has to cope with, on top of her own relationship with it. The fact is that when the relationship is not ready for a child is not ready and if they carry on the baby will suffer for it and them as well. This is at odds with any purpose of making a relationship about love first.
    In cases like this one, an abortion may be an act of love. The spirit that wanted to come back will have to wait for a new chance. That is all.

  • Reply Sarah Flenley January 16, 2017 at 7:02 am

    I deeply appreciate you writing and sharing with us all your process (that btw, I love too). It is so honouring of you the woman and that we all have a deep knowing what is right for us and we need to have the right to choose. Thank you Heidi.

  • Reply Kathleen Baldwin January 16, 2017 at 7:10 am

    Beautiful sharing Heidi. This is a must read for all women as it confirms our innate wisdom and the knowing we have of what is in keeping with where we, our partner and our overall situation is at. I am beyond childbearing years now but still can recall the stigma and the secrecy around abortion in my time. I had an abortion in my early 20’s and it was a horrible experience even though I knew without a doubt that this was the right choice at the time and felt no remorse or guilt it was very hard for me to find the support I needed whist keeping it a secret from my catholic family. This in hindsight was reflective of the way I had been living in disregard of my own preciousness, the pregnancy was my wake up call and wake up I did.

  • Reply adam warburton January 16, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Astounding sharing, and all the more courageous for putting your name to it. I say that because few issues arouse polarised reactions in people like the topic of abortion, as it is so intrinsically ties in with our religious beliefs. There is a concept in medicine, which is to look after yourself first before you do another. Make sure your own health is not compromised in any way before you look after another. The same concept is applied to first aid, and in workplace health and safety manuals across all industries. Yet when it comes to a woman’s body and her ongoing life, the same principle seems to not apply.

    That aside, let us look at it rationally. If you believe in one life, then what is lost? Only borrowed time, it would seem, if you believe our life force ends upon death. and so in the eternal scheme of things, what is 70 or 80 years lost against the timelessness of the universe.

    If you believe in reincarnation, then there is surely nothing here to be concerned about.

    Of course, the most indoctrinating of all beliefs is that of the Catholic Church, who still teach and believe in the concept of hell for such sins. But even then, why not just pull out the “get out of jail free” card, and confess your sins so that you too may pass the pearly gates? Once again, not a belief system that makes much sense when applied to the way we look at abortion.

    My point being, there is very little reasonable arguement that can be made against abortion as being a right that belongs to every woman. Of course, that being said, such a decision should never be taken lightly, and the way a woman’s body reacts after an abortion stands testament to the fact that there are consequences to such a decision, that serve to remind us of the true responsibility a man and woman holds when it comes to the act of making love. That being said, love should be equally applied to what happens after sex, and should that mean the decision to abort, then love should still equally apply in making that decision, as it did in the example hear shared by Heidi.

    May this blog serve more women to arise out of the stigma that surrounds abortion and be empowered to speak up.

    • Reply Rowena Stewart May 9, 2017 at 2:16 pm

      Agreed Adam Warburton, this is a ground breaking article that Heidi has had the courage to put not only her name but her face to as well. In doing so Heidi presents us with the immense responsibility we have to ensure that women are fully prepared for pregnancy and the journey of raising that child supported by a strong and loving relationship. When we connect to the truth of reincarnation, the role of abortion becomes much clearer, a choice that makes us truly regard the quality of our lives, health and attitudes towards bringing another soul into the world. We are precious beings, we deserve to be thoroughly loved and cherished and this begins with the quality of life we choose to live way before parenthood is even on the horizon.

  • Reply Natallija January 16, 2017 at 10:16 am

    A truly inspiring blog for all to read on a topic that is often swept under the carpet or seen as a job a woman will take care of. Thank you for sharing that there is still a huge stigma that is interwoven with religious beliefs around the world. I was raised as a Catholic and would overhear my grandmother’s generation share how abortion was never an option and for many women raising a family of 10 to 12 children was the norm. Each time a baby was born there was this false celebration but deep down inside the families knew that they struggled to support another child and added to the poverty cycle.
    This blog is an honest account of the choices that we can make that are about supporting ourselves to know what feels true in relationships. Thank you Heidi for including all the practical factors to take into consideration that supports a child loving in a relationship and the amazing support that was offered by Serge Benhayon.

  • Reply Rebecca Asquith January 16, 2017 at 10:44 am

    Hi Heidi, I wept after I read this blog and still do every time I read it. It is a deep healing for women, especially those that have had an abortion but equally simply in our expanding understanding that we can trust ourselves and we don’t need to be influenced by all the outer beliefs that condemn us. No matter how aware you are of the societal constructions that oppress us they still can have an impact. What is so beautiful about this blog is how much you affirm and champion your inner knowing and wisdom. Your writing is truly groundbreaking. With love, your sister and biggest fan.

  • Reply Rowena Stewart January 16, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    Thank you Heidi for broaching such a taboo subject and showing us all that women are very much in touch with their bodies and their power to make this choice. You have prised open an enormous can of worms with such grace. I could write pages and pages on this subject, but suffice to say that how you have handled your un-intended pregnancy will support thousands of other women (and hopefully men too) to make this very personal decision without fear of reprimand or condemnation. Choosing to be a mother, to be a parent is a massive responsibility, ensuring that we are prepared to dedicate ourselves to lovingly, respectfully raising children takes a great deal of self awareness, patience and resources. It is not sinful to abort a foetus, it can be the most loving decision in the world if the woman does not feel prepared yet to take this life altering step of motherhood. Surely in the 21st century, it’s time for all religions and societies all around the world to support the woman to make this choice to be a mother or not based on her own wellbeing and situation first and foremost, rather than condemn her for taking charge of this incredible level of responsibility.

  • Reply Mary Adler January 16, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Thank you Heidi, a powerful article that places the freedom to choose where it belongs, with the woman rather than with the ideals and beliefs of others.

    • Reply Vicky Cooke January 16, 2017 at 5:23 pm

      Simply yet beautifully said Mary

    • Reply Michael Brown January 21, 2017 at 5:17 pm

      Beautifully put Mary, an empowering comment on an empowering blog.

  • Reply Nicola Lessing January 16, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    Thank you for sharing Heidi. You have given birth to a very liberating and consciousness busting blog here and when the time comes for you to give birth to a child it will be child that is blessed to be born to two very loving and responsible parents.

    • Reply Natallija January 17, 2017 at 10:41 am

      Great point shared here Nicola about the choices couples have in deciding when to raise a child when a deep level of responsibility is discussed and felt prior so that the child is then reared in a home and relationship the is all about loving choices that support each and every family member.

  • Reply Valerie Hogarth January 16, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    Superb Blog Heidi and so needed by countless women and future incarnating children who will be better loved and nurtured by parents who are actually ready to welcome them. Those who hold the ideals, beliefs and power to deny women the right to choose for themselves the right time to bear a child … or not …should consider the proposition that in some future incarnation when born female they themselves may well be faced with the same choice.

  • Reply Vicky Cooke January 16, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    It is indeed ironic that ‘pro-life’ cultures and religions do not see the irony that when a child is born and it is female and not male then the child is then deliberately killed (female infanticide). For it is condemning abortion yet killing the child once they are born. ‘Ironically, this preference for men to continue the family line is in itself, a common reason for abortions (female foeticide) throughout India.’ If it was truly about life and love then either gender would be welcomed and embraced equally.

  • Reply Andrew Mooney January 16, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    It is priceless to have in a time of crisis someone we can call on, rely on and trust to be impartial and to support us to make the choice that we feel is right for us at the time. Serge Benhayon is one such person that I know of and there are others…. we can all be these people for each other and this level of consistency, clarity and steadiness comes from a living way which allows us to support ourselves to support each other.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 24, 2017 at 8:06 am

      Indeed whenever support is required, such as when a woman is faced with a choice to abort a pregnancy, we could be the one offering it. Instead of burdening the person with images, judgments and threatening accusations, we could hold the person in a steady, consistent, loving way so that they have the space and support to make a true and loving choice for themselves. Serge Benhayon is indeed a wonderful role model in this.

  • Reply Lieke Campbell January 16, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    There are some ideals and beliefs around, that sort of suggest that everything that happens unexpectedly must happen as it was ‘just meant to be’. This takes away our responsibility to feel into if it is true to happen at that moment. Such an important sharing, thank you Heidi. There is no right or wrong, only what is true.

  • Reply Jennifer Smith January 17, 2017 at 4:11 am

    We do know when something is right for us or not and for some women having an abortion feels true. Therefore no one should ever have to justify for any reason why they are making this choice. It is a deeply personal choice that is not made lightly. I have always found that these rules that have been made by our current churches to be very hypocritical when we are asked to live a certain way, but the same rules don’t apply to everyone. If this occurs and is applied with judgment then this to me is not something that is true. What is true is the support that you received Heidi, without any sense of judgment from both Serge Benhayon and your husband. For all they did was hold you in a space of love, without telling or judging. This to me is healing which I can feel in every word that you have shared. A deeply beautiful writing that will be of equal support to women in similar circumstances.

  • Reply Lorraine Harris January 17, 2017 at 5:31 am

    A deeply felt and honest article about your experience of abortion. Thank you for sharing. This will help many women to let go of any feelings of guilt, particularly when pressure is put on them by others who may be imposing with their various ideals and beliefs. To have someone to talk to like Serge Benhayon who is non judgmental, is the loving support women deserve to help them make the choice that is right for them at this time of their lives.

    • Reply Fiona Pierce January 10, 2018 at 4:26 am

      Absolutely Lorraine Harris, having someone to talk to who holds you in love, with no judgement whatsoever is the best support to help us make a decision like this from a true clarity within rather than from a sense of obligation or ‘should do’.

  • Reply Karoline Schleiffelder January 17, 2017 at 5:50 am

    First of all, thank you Heidi for sharing so deeply, honestly, openly and with such wisdom. You have shown the depth of wisdom of a woman, which all women hold. Yet many of us have disconnected from our wisdom and power by taking on the belief of others, where we can feel condemned, even condemn ourselves to make choices that are true for us as women. One of the biggest beliefs, is we are selfish if we don’t put others before us, better to put other’s before us and destroy our lives than to make choices that consider us first, where we then can bring the wisdom and power of a woman.

    What you have presented here is so powerful Heidi and it’s for all of us women. For those of us who have had abortions and those of us who haven’t but may be bound by the beliefs of society.

    I deeply appreciate this to speak about such abortion often considered a taboo subject, judged and condemned overall by society, yet you have brought the true wisdom here. Thank you thank you thank you.

    You have shown when we make a choice, a true choice without the restrictions of manmade beliefs/ideals, that we are supported within, as the wisdom emerges and holds us in the calm and solidness that is so natural in a woman when we connect to ourselves.

  • Reply Rosie Bason January 17, 2017 at 7:50 am

    This is such a beautiful blog Heidi, I had to cry when reading it, not sure why, possibly because I feel for so many women who have not had this experience that you have had. It is great that you share it and have no shame.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 17, 2017 at 7:57 am

    Blogs like this are a great confirmation about how finely tuned to their own bodies most women are, and that such choices as having a termination to a pregnancy is not lightly made, but very carefully deliberated and felt into. In an age when we are making such a big deal about having a choice of products, services and lifestyles, is it not ridiculous that there is even a question about honouring a woman’s choice on such a major aspect of their life?

  • Reply Susan Green January 17, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Thank you for your open and honest blog Heidi, it felt like you invited the reader into something that is very personal and intimate between a couple and yet it felt completely natural to share such an experience with others. Interesting abortion is something that is hushed up and treated with shame and yet it doesn’t have to be this way. Having the freedom to choose what feels true with out being imposed on my society’s beliefs is refreshing and liberating.

  • Reply Monica Gillooly January 17, 2017 at 10:22 am

    Heidi, there is such a deep quality of settlement and stillness with this blog, the absolute honouring of the choice that was needed and how in fact those choices can often not be what is expected. An abortion can be a deeply honouring act and I feel this here, and it’s ground breaking to read and know this given all the lacing we’ve all experienced around abortion – this is very deeply healing, thank you.

  • Reply Elizabeth Dolan January 17, 2017 at 11:13 am

    Thank you Heidi for your deeply touching account of the abortion you chose to have. It is wonderful to have this topic written about with such love, care and tenderness. I have seem so many women physically and mentally traumatized by abortions that they have had years ago due largely to how they were treated and the circumstances that lead to having an abortion. We can never come to truth by shaming people, by demanding they do what we tell them to do or by denying that they know within themselves exactly what to do.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh March 8, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Having an abortion is not an easy choice and is never lightly made. Those in the position of needing to make such a choice need caring support in order to the make the most loving and responsible choice in accordance to their body and their life. Making the process taboo, riddled with judgments or even banned simply does not make sense. It is great to start having conversations where women can share the empowered, loving and responsible choices in this area.

  • Reply Viktoria January 17, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    Wow, never have I ever thought of abortion as such a healing act.

  • Reply Rachel Murtagh January 17, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    Wow Heidi your blog is so honest, thank you for sharing your experience. Abortion is such a raw, sensitive topic and as you say not supported by many religious faiths, ideals and beliefs that must leave many women feeling lost, uncertain and ashamed. To know abortion can be experienced differently without shame and blame is very liberating.

  • Reply Christine Hogan January 17, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Re-visiting this blog brings a confirmation of a life lived in love, reflection, choices and awareness. Every moment is lived in absolute and loving responsibility and integrity. This was and still is the foundation on which you stand Heidi making all choices in your life. The blog oozes love, stillness and an expanded awareness that supports not only yourself but all others facing and having faced similar choices. Thank you.

  • Reply Sarah Karam January 17, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    I commend you for busting open such a taboo subject. Publishing articles like this encourages us to have open discussions that support woman and men alike to unlock the beliefs and possible blocks we still carry in society and as individuals around abortions.
    I consider myself a pretty free liberated woman but when I was faced with abortion I realised that there were subtle ideals and beliefs I still carried.
    Heidi, when you share as much as you have with the world, you bless everyone with the opportunity to be more honest with themselves.

  • Reply Stephanie Stevenson January 17, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    Heidi, this blog is bringing the opportunity for all women to re-claim their connection with and live from their true authority being expressed directly from the body. A deeply healing and inspiring blog. Thank you

  • Reply Anna McCormack January 18, 2017 at 5:51 am

    Thank you Heidi, this was so beautiful to read of your experience and of yours and your husbands commitment to making choices that are honouring of yourselves first and foremost. Amazing inspiration.

  • Reply Stephen Gammack January 18, 2017 at 8:30 am

    What a brilliant piece of writing. The two words that really caught me were controlling dogma. I think of all the suffering that has occurred in the name of religious views, and particularly the cruel and heartless treatment of women who have been raped and are made to have the child (that being the most extreme examples but there are many more just as controlling and demeaning). What an absolutely awful state of affairs. In contrast, the clarity and love that Heidi and her partner made and continue to make their choices in are inspirational and a true example of how we can approach a sensitive subject with total respect and care. Their choices reach way beyond the spectrum of their own lives.

  • Reply Bernard Cincotta January 19, 2017 at 6:38 am

    Firstly Heidi I must commend you on being so courageously open in sharing your intimate experience. There is a huge stigma around abortion so I believe you are right in saying it is very common but kept underground because of the stigma. This leaves the woman largely without support having to go through it alone, which can be quite traumatic. This blog completely dissolves the stigma and leaves everyone respected, honoured and loved, with sacred connection intact, even deepened. I am sure many in the same situation will be uplifted by what you have shared.

    Many women and girls who have dedicated their lives to the catholic way have found themselves ostracized, shamed, shunned, degraded excommunicated by the church but also by their community, friends and support network, even their own husband or family. It is most abusive to treat anyone this way, as the trauma is so extreme and lifelong. We must do all we can to extinguish this social stigma and encourage love and respect with the strength openness and honesty that Heidi has shown us here.

  • Reply Peta Lehane January 19, 2017 at 9:49 pm

    What a stunning testimony to the empowering religion can bring when truly lived. The Way of The Livingness offered me the same and never do I feel told what to do or held to uphold dogma or beliefs . At all times, I’m asked to discern for myself the truth in any given situation….this is empowerment.

  • Reply Bernard Cincotta January 20, 2017 at 4:38 am

    Wow Heidi, first you have exposed the horrible and demeaning attitude society has towards abortion.
    Second you debunked those myths and beliefs that are void of love and we don’t have to go along with them, in fact we should take every opportunity to join you in wiping out the stigma.
    Thirdly you showed us how to go through the process with absolute love, respect and dignity.
    Fourthly you have here shared what you have learnt from life for the entire world to be empowered and inspired by.
    This is ground breaking work, paving the way for others to follow.

    • Reply Stephanie Stevenson January 22, 2017 at 5:59 am

      Yes, I second all your points listed in your comment Bernard. Heidi has certainly begun paving the way for viewing abortion in a very different light.

  • Reply Gabriele Conrad January 20, 2017 at 6:16 am

    Thank you for so courageously lifting the veil on abortion and confirming it as a very conscious, bodily felt choice when indeed, that is the choice. As a society, what do we actually do when we enforce bringing unwanted children into this world? And what do these laws say about our regard for women?

  • Reply Kristopher Lyons January 20, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    I truly have to say that this article is an amazing and empowering read to all woman and also men, because it gives the power to them to know they have a choice to say if they are ready or not. To really take the responsibility, the care and honesty as a couple and say, “Hey, if we bring a child or a small human being into this world, are we going to be able to support them? Do we have a truly solid foundation for them to be in this world?”

    This world already tells us how to be and what to be, it is already hard enough as a man or woman with all the pressures that are put forth to us all and what we need to be or feel. So to be given the power to be able to make such free choices without the angst, stigma or judgement, but only true understanding. It is truly beautiful and humbling.

    I can’t like this article enough!

  • Reply Henrietta Chang January 21, 2017 at 5:56 am

    A beautiful sharing Heidi that opens up the conversation on abortion and all the ideals and beliefs that surround it. What I can appreciate about your sharing is also the fact that it introduces the understanding that there is a certain quality that comes with a child, a pregnancy, and this can affect us as women and have its impact on us in our lives thereafter. This is a very delicate thing to discern, and it is super important that as a woman we feel our way through every step. Equally, there is essentially no right or wrong decision here – there simply just is a decision, and one that ‘should’ be free for all women to explore and allow.
    I have not experienced abortion, however, I have experienced several miscarriages, and in this too lies a stigma that there is something wrong with a woman’s body if she has miscarriages. I never doubted my body and its capacity to hold a child to term, and always felt there was more to understanding a miscarriage. But the comments and judgements that would come from certain others were interesting and quite rigid in their beliefs and incarcerating in their opinions. Much of this is in line with abortions and how the woman is seen as ‘wrong’ or ‘weak’ or incapable, and hence it becomes a taboo subject too.

  • Reply Kerstin Salzer January 21, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    It feels very empowering how you took responsibility for yourself and as a couple concerning having a child. The common thinking would be that abortion is an irresponsible action, when in truth it can be a deeply responsible choice, depending on the situation a woman is in.
    This is an empowering sharing and supports me to let go of any ideals I have still held around abortion and birth.

  • Reply Aimee Edmonds January 22, 2017 at 4:15 am

    Thank you Heidi for sharing an empowered approach to abortion, one that leaves everyone full in themselves. The wave of stillness that resonates from within our bodies is all the proof that is needed in any decision… we know, without any doubts, when something feels true or not. I’ve also had stigma around miscarriage, being out of our control, exposed through feeling my own body. I knew that ‘wanting’ a third child was not true, supportive or offered any evolution for my family and I, yet many years ago I persisted from a lack of self worth and neediness. The whole pregnancy had a shroud of ‘I need this’ over it and we all sensed it… which then resulted in miscarriage. I feel now that this is very much a decision just like abortion, where the intention going into a pregnancy was not clear or loving, and all involved have made a choice to end it.

  • Reply Stephanie Stevenson January 22, 2017 at 5:56 am

    Heidi, what a powerful family support you had at the time of your operation. True family puling together – wow, no judgements or condemnations, just simply there with you. I love this.
    “The day came and my husband, mother-in-law and I left for the operation”.

  • Reply Susan Green January 22, 2017 at 8:30 am

    It is very exposing to feel the level of scrutiny, judgement and the loss of power women have to when it comes to honouring what is right for them. Every woman has a right to honour their bodies and this is a refreshing example of just that. Very inspiring.

  • Reply Monica Gillooly January 22, 2017 at 9:54 am

    Heidi, I keep coming back to read this blog time and time, and each time I feel another level of grace in what you express. In fact I feel the settlement in my own body and another of understanding in how precious it is to have a philosophy and religion which supports us to fully be the women we are, free to make our own choices without imposing ideals and judgements. This is a huge gift and I am grateful anew to know this religion and philosophy (The Way of the Livingness) and to have made it the foundation of all that I live. Thank you for deepening my understanding of how choice is not always what we think and how when something is deeply felt and honoured in the truth it is, there is grace, and how important your sharing is as it shows what is truly available for all of us, when we embrace our deeper intuition, connection and inner-knowing, and from here we can innately feel what is the right course of action for us. We embrace ourselves and our life’s journey, and in fact honour life even more.

  • Reply Carmin Hall January 22, 2017 at 10:07 am

    Your strength and steadiness shines through, as does your support for other women to know the same is within them too.

  • Reply Rowena Stewart January 23, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    There are so many responsibilities to consider when bearing a child, all in the knowing that “We each have accumulated a reservoir of choices that amass to a lived quality and level of integrity. This we bring with us in each incarnation.” Therefore as a parent, we need to consider the quality of our choices, so that they truly support a vulnerable child to grow up feeling loved, held and knowing who they are, so that they too can take responsibility for the massed quality of choices they arrived with and have yet to live out. Therefore, it is every woman’s absolute right to choose whether to follow through with a pregnancy or not. It’s a huge responsibility and one that when taken seriously, lovingly, produces well rounded adults who bring a great deal of wisdom to the world.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 25, 2017 at 4:32 am

    Women and in fact the whole of humanity remain in the clutches of such imprisoning ideals and beliefs because we have not truly called it for what it is and have not reclaimed our innermost truth, power, love and awareness. Thank you for your expression in this blog Heidi which beautifully shows the way.

  • Reply Michael Brown January 25, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    I absolutely love the fact that blogs like these are being written and published. Such honesty and transparency leaves one in awe compared to what we see published in widely distributed publications.

    Thank you Heidi, for delivering this with such authority and grace.

  • Reply Jo Elmer January 26, 2017 at 6:00 am

    In my past, I visited many different churches and looked into all kinds of religions and life philosophies but nothing felt right to me. Especially when a preacher was yelling and red faced preaching hell and damnation… and so often, despite wanting it to feel good and loving, the entire feeling in the church or in the group felt just awful to me, even creepy… not warm and not true.

    What I know now is that I need to take responsibility for feeling and knowing the truth and not passing this on to any organisation or anyone else, no matter how well intended they may be. When I connect with my innermost I do know what is true for me.

  • Reply Suzanne January 26, 2017 at 8:35 am

    It is very timely to read this blog. Last night I had just been reading the news articles and responses to the USA’s withdrawal of funds to NGO’s for abortions. I had been pondering on the force we seem to think is required to control another through condemnation. To love is to accept and understand God’s will. In his all encompassing love we are given the power to choose, always. When a woman connects deeply to the warmth and tenderness she naturally emanates from deep with her body, her choices will always consider the all which reaches far beyond the confines of the manmade religious institutions and their laws. What is crazy is these religious institutions are not only condemning the choice to have an abortion they have also condemning the choice to go through with a pregnancy in instances where the child was conceived out of wedlock. Thank you so much for coming out and sharing your beautiful experience Heidi which helps me deepen my understanding that life is always presenting us with the opportunity to make loving choices and this can only be made when we are lovingly connected and supported to honour what we feel is the right choice for ourselves.

  • Reply Sarah Flenley January 26, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    When a woman knows what is right for her, and has the freedom to enact her choice, there is harmony in the world. When a woman doubts herself, or is not given the opportunity to fulfill her choice, there is disharmony.

    “Women are supported to connect to their inner knowing and to choose what is right for them, free from social ideals or out-dated male driven perspectives masquerading as God’s word.” This is the way forward. It is actually the way it was, and it is up to us to return to it.

    “I was left in the freedom to choose, as an empowered woman in total control of my destiny.” That is how a woman should be about her own body and what happens to it. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  • Reply adam warburton January 27, 2017 at 10:15 am

    Great sharing. Even if you disagree with abortion, trying to induce shame in another for their actions never assists anyone to get to the heart of the matter.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 28, 2017 at 2:40 am

    It is preposterous that religious institutions can peddle the notion that there is anything sinister about women’s choice to use contraceptives or abortion to responsibly manage their life as we all should, whilst under the banner of these same institutions humanity has experienced so much killing and abuse throughout history and is still doing so today.

    True religion for me is represented by The Way of The Livingness, when every single person is held in love and honouring as a Son of God and is supported to know themselves as such. Where understanding of oneself, one’s choices, aspirations and challenges is facilitated, and learning to discern how energy affects our choices so that we are empowered in choosing the way of our Soul is a basic starting point. It is preposterous that we have for so long allowed man-made institutions that impose their views as being above an individual’s personal relationship with God, encourage judgment of one another and practice bullying tactics, to muddy our relationship with religion and with God.

    There is so much about life, death, relationships and all aspects of life that we as a humanity don’t have a sense of awareness, understanding and wisdom around in a way that leaves us feeling settled inside and at one with the flow of life.

    After years of looking for answers everywhere I could without success, it has been a breath of fresh air being reminded and supported to connect to the stillness within. It is immensely supportive to know that whilst some of my choices may not be the best along the way, I will be none-the-less be held without any judgment, I will be loved and if I wish, supported to return to my essence once again. And all along I am deepening my awareness, my trust and my honouring of the awareness I have access to from within. This is the support we should be offering one another, whether choosing pregnancy, termination or anything else in life.

  • Reply Ray Karam January 28, 2017 at 7:00 pm

    This is a deeply honest blog and very personal insight for all of us into what can happen and what we can choose for ourselves in any situation. For a couple so young in age to choose and then to write such a quality article speaks volumes for The Way Of The Livingness and how our true living quality supports us everywhere. Most people your age I would imagine have a very different story to tell given the same set of circumstances. I think this is an incredibly brave piece of writing that is here for us all to read and be inspired by. We are all blessed by this and I feel blessed to read such an open letter to us all, thank you.

  • Reply Jane Torvaney January 29, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    What a deeply honest and powerful blog Heidi. Thank you so much for sharing it – I could feel a healing in it for us all.

  • Reply Ariel Muntelwit January 29, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    Very honest sharing Heidi – I loved reading this. As I was reading, it was like you felt like a sister to me that was sharing your experience and offering a reflection of truly honouring what you feel rather then playing ball with the ‘pictures’ that society or religions may have around abortion. The amount of women that this would happen to, I can imagine would be countless and endless, so to feel like it has to be a secret and something to feel guilty about is setting up women to either feel guilty for their action or to birth a child they actually are not in a place to support.

    Knowing you personally, you are a role model to me and this inspiration I feel comes first and foremost by you honouring and expressing what you feel is true for you then, the courage to make choices that may be looked down upon BUT are actually the most supportive thing for you to do is also very inspiring!

  • Reply Sabine January 31, 2017 at 7:57 am

    Thank you for sharing so honestly Heidi. I had a similar experience when I was only 19 – I was in no position to have a child and had to have an abortion. Abortion is not talked about – I never did… you said there is a sense of shame and guilt attached to it.
    So many important issues that trouble us as human beings are kept secret and we dont share about them openly….which in my experience increases the pain and the pressure we put ourselves under.

  • Reply Leigh Matson February 1, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    It was beautiful to read how you felt a deep settlement in your body through honouring and acting on what you felt, it’s such a stark difference when we hold off and delay following this inner knowing on how to be in life’s situations.

    The calming affect that comes from reading the words of a woman who follows through and honours what she deeply feels is tangible in your writing. Thank you Heidi.

  • Reply Joe Minnici February 3, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    Your honest and open sharing I’m sure will help many others in similar situations.

  • Reply Elizabeth Dolan February 7, 2017 at 5:55 am

    Any true religion naturally allows a woman to be in charge of her own body and her own being. For far too long humanity has subscribed to the notion that Eve (read all women) are temptresses and therefore not to be trusted but instead blamed and condemned, especially when it comes to unwanted or unplanned pregnancies. This condemnation has to stop because we only have to look at the atrocities that women face on a daily bases to see where such condemnation leads.

  • Reply Gabriele Conrad February 7, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    As you say, one of the huge impositions placed on women is ” resorting to unsafe, out-dated and demeaning practices” when deciding to have an abortion. And then comes the weight of the condemnation, the isolation and the stigma. Most women never talk about it, as though it were a crime – isn’t ‘pro life’ in truth about bringing wanted, cherished, loved and supported children into this world? ‘Pro Life’ in that instance feels more like a true and loving choice for the true and vital life of all of humanity rather than the stigma of having been unwanted and consequently treated as such, no matter someone’s best intentions.

  • Reply Christine Hogan February 9, 2017 at 6:17 am

    We most often accept the rules and regulations put in place by society because it is easier or so we believe. Making these choices without deeper reflection by feeling the true influences we are allowing can be extremely harmful. Any choice made from a foundation of love that is felt in the inner heart is the true choice and whilst it will meet the controlling dictations of society it will go on to support others to listen to their own heart and free the world of an imposing guilt that would otherwise be.

  • Reply Tricia Nicholson February 13, 2017 at 6:22 am

    What a deeply honest sharing and so refreshing and empowering for all women and children to allow such responsibility for one’s choices and that of life itself. The enormous beliefs and stigmas attached to the subject of abortion and the dishonouring of women needs to be exposed and called out with the true value of women being honoured absolutely.

  • Reply Jonathan Stewart February 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    Thank you for sharing so openly your personal experience. It is not only hugely informative but inspirational for others to feel confident in a truth that is not necessarily generally accepted and disliked by so many as it re-establishes control in the individual and not in a system that can control and dominate another.

    “It is also imparted that this new life, brought about solely via the physical act of a man and woman procreating”. Reading this now I have just had the sudden realisation that prior to reading it I had never conceived the idea that it was the actual act of conception that actually created a soul. I have always just felt the conception and the creation of the physical body was the means for something that which we call ‘ a soul’ to come into life. That something I have always, without consciously knowing or expressing it until now, considered to be separate from the physical body.

  • Reply Michael Brown February 15, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    It’s absolutely amazing that we have the opportunity to express so openly and honestly on these topics… How inspiring and empowering is this for women all around the world who feel it but hold back! Keep it coming!

  • Reply Kerstin Salzer February 24, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    Your article is deeply healing not only for those who chose abortion, but for every woman who has lost children one way or the other, actually for every woman and man. To understand that we have a choice as women and that the child does not carry any trauma from this but in truth is a choice which comes from both sides, woman and child.

  • Reply Mary-Louise Myers February 26, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    It is every woman’s right to have an abortion if they so choose to. It is ludicrous to think that someone outside of us can make this decision for us about our own bodies and lives. How is it that we have allowed this? Why is it that all woman have not spoken out against any laws that are against abortion?

  • Reply Rik Connors February 27, 2017 at 5:18 am

    Awesome to read Heidi an account of truth in abortion. All women and men will benefit reading this in many ways.

  • Reply kim weston February 28, 2017 at 6:31 am

    Heidi what an incredibly supportive blog. Your honesty and openness without any judgment upon yourself or others is felt throughout. Not only that, but you demonstrate how steadiness and connection with our body is what supports one to make a truly supportive choice.

  • Reply Stephen Gammack February 28, 2017 at 9:20 am

    I have full admiration for Heidi in the bravery of posting on such a polarising topic, and I can see why some would believe in the sanctity of a life not born. But the wide scale abuse and cruel pain that has been inflicted on so many women shows that the approach to abortion globally is not one of compassionate, care and understanding. And if that is the case then we are acting less than we are innately meant to live in how we care for those who have been born, and the right to choose what is best and least cruel for their own bodies. Perhaps what we believe in terms of reincarnation affects deeply how we see this topic, in that regard it then becomes less about pro life or anti life, and more about the evolutionary process of each and every soul and an ability to determine what each pregnancy is creating.

  • Reply Harrison White March 1, 2017 at 9:09 pm

    Amazing blog Heidi, and very courageous to put it forward with not one ounce of hesitation or regret but with the knowing that it is helping to empower other women to feel the same way about themselves, and their body.

  • Reply Matts Josefsson March 6, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    Thank you for a beautiful and clearheaded testament of these topics. We live so much from ideals and beliefs of how things should be that we are suffocating ourselves yet we often defend when these ideals and beliefs are challenged. When I read this it’s so clear that if we use true common sense then we know what is right and what is imposed on us. As the quote from Natalie Benhayon say in the end, what hurts us the most is the “right” and “wrong” we subscribe to.

  • Reply vanessa mchardy March 7, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Heidi this is such a needed article, so many women have abortions and like you share so many do not discuss this with anyone often not even their closest friends. When the decision to terminate a pregnancy has occurred with no coercion it can only be true. A woman does not terminate without deep consideration for what is true for herself and the pregnancy. It’s actually very simple when you take out any pictures of how life should be. The quote from Natalie Benhayon is so true in that women are not left traumatised by the actual termination but rather the stigma and dogma around it. Look at the news in the UK recently with a grave at a Catholic mother and baby unit in Ireland where 800+ remains have been found in a sewer. That’s what happens when you put shame and judgement in the way of truth.

  • Reply Shami March 10, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    Thank you Heidi for a very amazing piece of writing. I especially loved reading how the abortion process has actually made you appreciate pregnancy even more, and the way that you and your husband are approaching this next phase in your life and relationship with each other. It seems that you both have taken every experience to strengthen and confirm your life together, which is very beautiful and inspiring.

  • Reply Rachael Evans March 15, 2017 at 4:25 am

    Honouring the body is not just about hygiene or soaking in a herb-filled bath every now and then. It is about doing what is needed at any given time, listening to the bodies communication and building a relationship with that in every facet of life. This abortion experience is a very powerful example of that process and one that dissolves the limited images around what body awareness and self-care is.

  • Reply Rowena Stewart March 16, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    When we truly understand the cycle of life and death and our true relationship with the third dimension, our entire appreciation of conception, pregnancy and birth will change. Bearing a child is a very special experience, but every woman must feel absolutely prepared for it, as it asks so much of her and is a commitment that will last the rest of her life. Rather than condemning women, we should be seeking to encourage, support and celebrate every choice made in this arena, including the decision to not follow it through when all the signs and signals within her are saying ‘don’t continue with this pregnancy’.

  • Reply julie Matson March 20, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    Thank you Heidi for being so open with regards to your sharing, it seems that this decision is hard enough without the added pressure from religious groups and society. Maybe it would not be so stressful if these two things did not get in the way and it became our norm to feel what is right for us and act on that.

    • Reply Shirley-Ann Walters September 2, 2017 at 4:52 am

      This is a great point that abortion itself would not be so loaded and stressful but for all the judgements and social pressures from everyone around looking on.

  • Reply Mary Sanford March 22, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    This is a much needed topic of conversation that we should be having, so thanks for bringing it up for discussion. I personally have never understood how it is that women have put themselves into a position that we allow men to make rules and dictate to woman what they can and cannot do when it comes to abortions. I knew someone who worked as a nurse years ago and she told me of the many women who crossed the border to have abortions because they were illegal in the country they resided in. All the stress they endured because of the silence they had to endure, they could not tell anyone what they were doing as the disgrace and retribution was too much to endure.

    It’s interesting that you decided not to use the pill as a form of contraception because you felt a separation within you. I knew after a few weeks of taking the pill that I couldn’t use it, something in my body didn’t feel right, it was as though I was looking at my body from the outside looking back at me and it just felt so unnatural that I too stopped taking it. Is it possible that as women we have disconnected from ourselves to such an extend that we seem to be more in the drive of male energy than female and I wonder if it was the advent of the pill back in the 60’s that gave rise to women feeling that they could out compete the men because of the so called freedom the pill gave to them.

  • Reply Susan Green March 29, 2017 at 7:42 am

    I love this quote you have included by Natalie Benhayon… ‘Think about it — a woman aborting her unwanted pregnancy is not left traumatised by the medical procedure, but by the judgement of it being considered right or wrong in the eyes of society and religion.’ It is only right that women have the right to choose what feels true for them.

  • Reply Gabriele Conrad March 29, 2017 at 9:14 am

    I deeply appreciate this statement of yours which puts it like we need it to be as empowered human beings who make our own choices: “Women are supported to connect to their inner knowing and to choose what is right for them, free from social ideals or out-dated male driven perspectives masquerading as God’s word.”

    It is interesting to note where the judgment and condemnation can come from, where the prejudices are lurking. I myself felt totally at ease with my decision when I had my abortion and there was not a skerrick of doubt that this might be the wrong one. I was studying, working part-time and the relationship was anything but stable or, looking back, even loving and responsible in the way you describe the union between you and your husband. But years later in a new age course I was introduced to the notion that I should feel sad and guilty; I dutifully subscribed, if only briefly, before the spook was over.

    To fully claim what I had felt at the time and to build and trust that knowingness took quite a few more years and is thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

  • Reply adam warburton April 2, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Hugely intimate portrayal of what it is like to go through an abortion, and a hugely revelatory one at that. The conversation around abortion is one that is usually laced with judgement and a heavy emotional undertone, and it is refreshing to read a discourse on the subject that is free of both of these.

  • Reply Rowena Stewart April 8, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    How can another person decide what is best for the woman who has to not only bear the child, but then devote her life to providing for her baby? This is an individual choice that only the woman can make based on what her body is telling her and should never be based on religious doctrines that seek to separate the person from their innately wise and all encompassing intuition.

    “In their view, even pregnancy spawned from rape is no justification for terminating a pregnancy.” I feel this is a very odd tact to take, to say that all life is sacred and therefore ban abortion, but then fail to honour that life once it has been born. Surely the true honouring of life is to ensure that from the moment of conception through to our very last breath, we make Love the constant foundational principle of our lives. Therefore as rape is such an anti-loving violation of a woman, aborting a baby born of this union could be a very wise decision to make.

    “The Way of The Livingness truly empowers women.” A Way that has returned us to our Sacred knowing and Ancient Wisdom. A woman always knows exactly what is right for her and her baby and the decision to terminate a pregnancy is never an easy one to make, but is her absolute right non-the-less, a decision that she should always be openly and unconditionally supported in.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh April 11, 2017 at 4:35 am

    Recently I have been overwhelmed with the amount of publicly available videos and footages of the atrocities humanity inflicts on other humans, animals and nature on a huge mass scale. This abuse is even endemic within the day to day fabric of the society that we live in. It is preposterous that where abortion is concerned we have been bullying members of our race and denying them a choice about their own bodies and their own lives. We could instead be supporting everyone to deepen their own connection to their own heart so that everyone is even in a better place to make a truly loving choice.

    Humanity has become so lost to itself and the only way out is for each of us to well and truly learn to feel what is deeply loving in our own life and and what is not. It is through each living that level of love and integrity ourselves, that one by one and as a collective we can once more know the divine nature that is our true essence.

  • Reply julie Matson April 20, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    It is true that in todays society even if a women chooses to have an abortion she can be racked with guilt for years to come – this happened to a friend of mine who had aborted a foetus ten years prior to me meeting her and here she was still very distraught, even though she had no doubt that it was not the right time for her, as she was not in a steady relationship, she was still suffering due to her religious upbringing.

  • Reply Michael Brown April 23, 2017 at 5:41 am

    Not only breaking the silence but breaking the heavy consciousness that dwells in our society, forever causing emotions to run high and vicious attacks launched over the subject. Such a breath of fresh air!

  • Reply Stephen Gammack April 23, 2017 at 7:09 am

    I love how un-emotive Heidi is in explaining her experience of being an unwanted t child who saw her parents divorce. This is unusual is it not, and shows someone who is able to distinguish people from their behaviour, and express what is actually loving. In this case that her parents not staying together was the loving choice, and that in the bigger context of the piece, that having an abortion was also the loving choice in that particular situation. We are never bound to our experiences, unless we choose to be so.

  • Reply Rowena Stewart April 28, 2017 at 1:55 pm

    It is such a necessary conversation to have and a huge part of responsible parenting, that we make sure the ground conditions are suitable for the birth of a baby in all respects, from the wellbeing of the mother to quality of the relationship between the parents and the family home. It all matters immensely and so choosing to abort can be the wisest decision we make.

  • Reply Monica Gillooly April 29, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    Heidi, every time I come back to this blog I feel another layer, it’s deeply honest, absolutely touch and very clear and empowering. It’s ground breaking and needs to be read far and wide. As noted in the quote at the end from Natalie Benhayon, those who have abortions generally suffer more from the judgement they experience and take on than they do from the actual procedure. There is something where we consider women’s bodies as not belonging to them once they become pregnant and we miss the wider understanding that you bring here, that there is a time and a place to have a child and it’s for each to decide this and get the support they need. The biggest thing is we are not taking into account the wider picture that we are divine and as such as you so beautifully express ‘we are all eternal beings experiencing human life, but never bound to it.’ – there is only the true choice each of us makes, and to hear and feel your absolute claiming of that choice for you and the deep calm and settlement you felt is awe inspiring. Thank you for sharing this so openly and publically and breaking the taboo around discussing abortion. It’s very needed in our societies just now.

  • Reply Rowena Stewart May 2, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    Banning abortions has never worked and puts the woman at great risk. If we really treasure life, than treasuring the life of the woman surely comes first, as it is her body that magically grows another inside her. Therefore learning how to cherish our selves as women first and then as mothers surely needs to be our essential focus. The more the woman connects to and honours her innate wisdom, the stronger her foundation grows from which to be a mother and hence will innately know when it is appropriate to follow through with a pregnancy in the knowing that she can raise her child in a truly loving and supportive home.

  • Reply Kerstin Salzer May 13, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    “We each have accumulated a reservoir of choices that amass to a lived quality and level of integrity. This we bring with us in every incarnation.”
    To know that we will enter another life shows how crucial it is to take responsiblity and choose wisely.

  • Reply Sandra Dallimore May 13, 2017 at 2:10 pm

    Heidi, I love the depth to which you have written this blog and it is testament to how it can be for a woman to experience an abortion without the guilt and judgement from other people. Women need to be left to feel for themselves what is right for them in their circumstances, to have access to support and medical care, and to not be condemned for the choice that they make.

  • Reply Lyndy Summerhaze May 14, 2017 at 7:51 am

    What you have shared Heidi is deeply beautiful. It feels like so much of the world is living in some past perception of pregnancy and the reasons we come to earth. Deep down we all know why we come here, that reincarnation is a reality, and that the energies that come together to form a body gives both parents and child a chance to choose which way it will go. But a huge proportion of the population, adhering to a piece of propaganda put out by a church or organization, which arises from a need to control and punish people and create a huge distractive drama ( in other words separate us all ), go along with these beliefs which are not only outmoded but untrue. Every one of us that writes about the truth of the situation of abortion is adding a confirmatory vibration to the Internet that will one day tip the balance

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh May 20, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    Thank you for the deeply honest and transparent sharing of your experience through the pregnancy and termination. The level of possible connection with our body and awareness of our relationship on even a bigger level to what is going on in our life reflected here is amazing and truly inspiring. If we are at all interested in true evolution for humanity, this level of awareness and responsibility ought to be encouraged and supported and by no means squashed and diminished.

    • Reply Gregory Barnes September 27, 2017 at 6:50 pm

      So true Golnaz, this feels like the true empowerment that everyone has been looking for and it is so practical without an once of judgement.

  • Reply Esther Auf der Maur May 23, 2017 at 5:32 am

    I have just re-read this profound blog – and I can only recommend it, as this is such an important topic to talk about; both for men and women equally, as abortion touches all of us. What a healing to read this blog, and to know it is possible to make loving choices – even in situations that seem to be difficult at first, to know we can trust that within ourselves we do know what is true; which helps us not get caught up in dogma and rules and beliefs of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, but choose lovingly, considering the whole. Understanding incarnation and knowing that no-one ever really dies, and that the foetus is only imbued by the Soul after about 3 months makes a lot of sense to me.

  • Reply Paula Steffensen May 24, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Women worldwide need to hear and read of these experiences, of each others experiences, to encourage abortion as an open and transparent conversation – especially with other women.

  • Reply Paula Steffensen May 25, 2017 at 5:25 am

    Your sharing Heidi exposes how there is no shame in having an abortion… in fact it is a very self-loving, responsible and empowering choice.

  • Reply Benkt van Haastrecht May 26, 2017 at 5:38 am

    Beautiful reading this and feeling the empowerment free choice of abortion gives women, which in the end we all want and need. To have women that are empowered and serving the world with their grace and power.

  • Reply Harrison White May 26, 2017 at 9:46 pm

    It’s evident that religious institutions have had such a stranglehold in humanity for a long time, dictating the customs and beliefs to live by , and to pay debts or your worship to those in power, and it seems in our medern day that religion has much less of a strangle hold and there is more “free choice” but the fact is that more than ever there are stranglehold son the way we express ourselves and relate in society, the complexity had increased .

  • Reply Kerstin Salzer May 27, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    In this sharing I feel the imprisonment and abuse ideals and beliefs do have on us as human beings and how we get manipulated and deeply suffer if we give power away to them.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh June 10, 2017 at 12:57 am

      This also shines light on the level of responsibility we each have in our rigid expectations and judgments of people. Even if we do not say anything the impact is felt and known. Yet what everyone of us crave is to be met with love, care and understanding. And this is more so when someone is facing a challenging situations in their life.

  • Reply Samantha May 27, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    So grateful to you Heidi and your honesty what an awesome life changing blog, I say life changing for many women reading this would have been in similar situations and may still be feeling the guilt, shame and regret that can come with having an abortion.
    This blog the world needs to read.

  • Reply Liane Mandalis May 31, 2017 at 6:29 am

    It is quite sobering to realise that it is not the procedure of a termination that scars the woman, but our judgements of her for doing so. Does this not reveal to us the level of harm we that cause via our rigid ideals and beliefs, that remains undetected on the surface? Thank you for sharing your experience so openly and honestly with us Heidi. You write with a level of transparency that is very healing for us to feel.

    • Reply Jennifer Smith September 19, 2017 at 5:16 am

      Very true Liane. Just like we are more hurt by those that standby and watch or knowingly turn their back protecting themselves or enjoin, when we face abuse or bullying behaviour.

  • Reply Candida June 2, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    Heidi I am deeply touched by your honesty here. This is such a refreshing read on what is usually a subject surrounded by guilt and shame. You bring a responsibility, love and care to this that I’ve never seen before and you (and your husband) certainly feel empowered in this process. I love that you have shared this with the world to show there is another way.

  • Reply Michael Brown June 3, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    Breaking the silence is so important, but what you have done Heidi is break the silence with absolute truth and transparency – how deeply refreshing!

  • Reply Karin Barea June 5, 2017 at 6:25 am

    This is a blessing to read; confirmation of connection with ourselves that knows what is true and following that without letting in any ideals or beliefs that hinder our knowing and ourselves from expressing and connecting with the love that we are. So many children are born through a need and brought up without a deep consideration for their true well-being. Both abortion and bringing children into this world can be done responsibly as you have so expressed.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh June 6, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    Thank you for lifting the lid off an area that has suppressed and handicapped women for eons, shared the power and responsibility with which you and your husband approached your abortion and blessed everyone with so much love, wisdom and transparency.

    • Reply Jonathan Stewart July 4, 2017 at 2:52 pm

      I agree Golnaz. Through her openness and honesty Heidi delivers here an inspirational viewpoint that is supportive, bringing understanding that is desperately needed not just by women but by men as well

  • Reply Harrison White July 8, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    Religious institutions such as the Catholic Church and others have had way too much influence of what society accepts as ‘normal’. Even now I didn’t think that religions were that popular because I wasn’t attending a church myself, but from some simple observations can see how the influence of the dogma and beliefs is still very much affecting the way we relate to each other in public, at work and in households.

  • Reply Stephen Gammack July 10, 2017 at 8:05 am

    It is so true what you write about how the Way of the Livingness empowers women in ways other religions just do not. And what is most noteworthy to me is that this is done without being in any way dismissive of men, but how we have the opportunity to appreciate women so much more and all benefit from this whatever our gender. As men we need to stop being fearful of the power of women and actually recognise how much they can reflect to us when we embrace and value their natural feminine qualities.

  • Reply Kehinde James July 17, 2017 at 12:55 pm

    To write about abortion in this way is rare and a blessing. Clear, open, direct, honest, anyone who has ever been faced with this choice will understand, be inspired and healed by what you share. After an abortion many women can spend years feeling guilt, regret and a deep sense of loss. You present a woman’s choice to have an abortion as responsible, self honouring and ultimately healing for herself, partner and foetus that may have been be born unwanted and un loved because the woman or partner were not ready to be parents. One to be shared widely.

  • Reply leigh matson August 2, 2017 at 4:14 am

    That last quote makes so much sense after reading your account Heidi, it’s not the act of abortion that causes the most harm but the beliefs, judgements, impositions and restrictions placed on women if they feel that having a child is not for them at that time, or in the cases of rape that they are unable to abort. I like reading this article as it brings the subject to light rather than leaving it as a dark, taboo topic.

  • Reply Victoria Lister August 4, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    An outstanding article Heidi, utterly ground-breaking – thank you immensely for sharing your story, and your understandings. Reading about the careful way you made your decisions, and what was truly behind your crash-and-burn moment, breaks the mould in terms of what we think is happening for a woman when she chooses an abortion, or rather, when she fails to and knows deep down it is actually the correct path for her.

  • Reply Rachel Murtagh August 13, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    Your sharing is beautiful Heidi. You show how confirming the process of abortion can be when a woman is left to choose without condemnation, blame or judgement.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh August 18, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    There is so much domination, abuse and control of one another in society. Every day I see the evidence of this not working for anyone as there are aggression, fights and opposition incited and both sides try to put the other down. Yet there are such moments as this when as a breath of fresh air, it is not about pointing fingers or keeping scores, but there is a call to a return to living the love, joy, responsibility and a deep honouring of one another which is our true nature.

  • Reply Christoph Schnelle August 29, 2017 at 4:52 am

    When women who I knew had abortions there were usually tears and a feeling of regret. It is simple then for a religion to amplify and fan those experiences for their own purposes.

  • Reply Samantha Davidson August 29, 2017 at 5:28 am

    I really appreciate what you share about how you have such a strong relationship with your body and what feels true for you, it is inspiring, the dedication to the truth that you live in life about what is there to choose or not choose. So often we are swayed by other people, conversations, ideas from organisations and groups we are involved to, it is however so important to come back to what is true for ourselves. It is not selfish, we know how we feel when we continue to ignore the signs, it nags, we feel restless, we get annoyed, the body shares a lot and if we are willing to listen and act upon it, the calm and connection you mention can be something we live and enjoy on a constant basis.

  • Reply Leonne August 29, 2017 at 8:36 am

    This knowing, honesty and depth of understanding by is deeply moving to read. I can see I have been fed so many lies about abortion and until now I’ve swallowed them to some degree. This blasts them all with absolute love.

  • Reply Vicky Geary August 29, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    Heidi, what a deeply touching account of your experience with abortion and now, planning to have a family. Your body clearly guides the way as to what is needed when, and given this, there is no doubt that when the time is right for you and your husband to have a child, you will know loud and clear.

    • Reply Nico van Haastrecht September 4, 2017 at 11:25 am

      Indeed Vicky, we do know what is best in any situation when we are free from the burden the religious and societal dogma’s try to impose on us. Thanks to the Way of The Livingness we have given back this option in life as to me this option of making our own free choices in life was not available anymore to us through all kind of religious dogma’s and societal laws.

  • Reply Annelies van Haastrecht August 30, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    Thank you Heidi for sharing your very honest and personal story with abortion and your relationship with your body. Every woman that will read this can choose to be empowered to trust and claim her knowing so she can make her own choices in regard to her body, be it related to pregnancy and abortion or other choices.

  • Reply Shirley-Ann Walters September 2, 2017 at 4:49 am

    Wow what a beautiful open and honest sharing that I could completely follow in terms of what you were really feeling, that basically there was no harmony for both you until the matter was settled, and so clearly a true decision.

  • Reply Shirley-Ann Walters September 2, 2017 at 4:56 am

    The other thing that struck me reading this was that I remember seeing and feeling the hardening effect that the pill so often seemed to have on myself and on my girlfriends. I wish I had had the self-love to honour the truth about that at the time. I was initially afraid to come off the pill for fear of painful periods again, but when I did I loved it, I even got to notice those more subtle body changes during my cycle much more clearly and feel more womanly again, I guess thats the connection to my sacredness.

  • Reply Shami September 2, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    What this piece clearly shows, and which is very beautiful, is how it is possible to see or be aware of the impositions of the judgements placed upon us about abortions and to not react to them, but simply to choose another way that does not include them. A way that is free from them regardless of their persistence.

  • Reply Nico van Haastrecht September 4, 2017 at 11:18 am

    Abortion is a heavily burdened subject in many societies and an important one to bring truth back in. Although women do know what is best for them and the foetus, this is commonly not appreciated but instead overshadowed by the dogma’s mostly imposed from the religion institutions and from that, abortion in general is not an option. Women do know what is best for them and the foetus and men, when they can feel into the situation too. Therefore The Way of The Livingness is showing the way and gives the power of choice back to where it belongs, to the woman and the man that do know best what to do in any situation.

  • Reply Lucy Duffy September 4, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    I had an abortion when I was 19 and I too was in the absolute knowing that this was a true choice. It was only in the years following that I felt myself wander into ‘what if’ scenarios, which were nothing to do with doubting my decision – I have always known it was true – but in me struggling to deal with the ideals and beliefs around motherhood that are constantly being imposed on all of us by a collective notion of what the role of a woman is in society. The moment I let myself follow these pictures I would feel a sadness and longing, not for the child that might have been, but for the mother I might have been. It’s taken me many years to let go of the deeply harming belief that I needed to be a mother to be complete.

  • Reply fiona lotherington September 6, 2017 at 6:25 am

    This was a very important article to write Heidi, so thank you for speaking up. Clearly abortion need not be the stressful, emotional time that it is for most women. With a steady knowing of yourself from your body and what is right at the time, we can make decisions that are true without all the dogma and stigma that can affect us. Universal Medicine is where I have come to not only feel empowered as a woman but also feel the huge responsibility we carry to turn the current state of society around, by being the true women we are.

  • Reply Gill Randall September 7, 2017 at 6:51 pm

    This is so empowering for women to read Heidi, your openness and transparency on this sensitive subject is so appreciated to help other women to feel and be guided by their bodies. You were supported by Serge Benhayon and The Way of the Livingness to do what you knew to be right for you, and this story supports others too.

  • Reply Raegan Caireny September 8, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    I agree with all of what you have shared here Heidi and could feel the last line that is a quote from Natalie, which is “We are doing more harm by what we impose.” If only all those knew just how much damage they were causing by the imposition they want to put onto others, and they got to truly feel what that means and feels like, they would perhaps make other choices.

  • Reply Rebecca Wingrave September 10, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    Heidi, this article is amazing to read, it is so refreshing to read about there not being guilt or regret with having an abortion, how you were calm and knew your choice was true for you and your partner, thank you for sharing this.

  • Reply Sandra Williamson September 11, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    Heidi what a wonderful, loving and totally supportive foundation you are offering to Women and their partners. Making decisions based on what is true offers a completely different outcome. And what ever is next are choices with no residual restrictions and complications from what is already past.

  • Reply Ingrid Ward September 13, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    Heidi, I deeply appreciate that you have shared this experience with us as I know that so much of what you have written will resonate so loudly with so many women; it certainly has for me. To have had the wisdom and the support that you had at 22 to make the self-loving decision you made speaks volumes for the amazing young woman you are. I know that to have had the same awareness of the truth of life at that age would have been utterly life changing for me.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh September 15, 2017 at 2:26 am

    Thank you Heidi Baldwin for the depth of love, clarity and wisdom with which you have written this article. It is indeed a blessing to be steady and connected to our awareness and inner knowing and approach our decisions from that place. No one is in the position to know intimately everything about that person and able to decide what is the best choice for them. Only the person can do this. And even if they make the wrong choice, it is their lesson and their personal learning, so understanding and loving support is what is required. This article sets the standard beautifully for this area – honouring and holding in love everyone involve in it – as it always should be.

  • Reply Lieke Campbell September 16, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    “The philosophies of The Way of the Livingness took away from my choice all unnecessary, but unfortunately all too common, fear, anxiety, controlling dogma and nightmarish tales of condemnation. ” Very true, we do know in our bodies what is true for us at any time, it is just that many people do not honour these choices and instead tend to complicate them by doubts and thoughts. Yet at our hearts we are very sure and solid about what we feel is true and if we stay with that it is revealed how simple life can be.

  • Reply Anne Hishon September 19, 2017 at 1:37 am

    Heidi, thank you for sharing so honestly and openly about a very controversial and personal topic. I had a pregnancy termination about 36yrs ago and I was made to feel ashamed and guilty by the health system and health professionals at that time, even though I knew for me that it was the right decision. Thank you for highlighting to the world the imposition that such judgments have on women in this situation- a decision which is theirs alone.

  • Reply Jennifer Smith September 19, 2017 at 5:12 am

    A deeply honesty blog that reveals a process that can actually support women going through an abortion. To be supported in this way is very healing, for not only can abortions (as stated) can be traumatic on women and families, but also those who work with with in this way. No because of the procedure, but because of what comes from the beliefs imposed by others. These beliefs reflects no understanding on where a woman is and why she would be making such a decision. They hold one thing above everything else and that is the ‘life’ of a future potential child. The beliefs lessen what it is to be a woman. The healing in this blog is not just for Heidi, but for all women who will ever contemplate having an abortion.

    • Reply Lucy Dahill October 17, 2017 at 3:31 am

      Very true Jennifer. I also appreciate you sharing how this blog supports practitioners who work in the field. There is so much judgement around abortions that to be aware of all the judgment and anxiety can mean the support women are offered is more in line with where they are at rather than where anyone thinks they should be.

  • Reply HM September 19, 2017 at 5:25 pm

    Thank you, Heidi, for your open and honest sharing. It is so refreshing to read this. You totally reached out for support and that is admirable. I have gone through an abortion and I shut everyone out, telling no one and bottling it up. A very very different experience that I have only recently healed. And the quote from Natalie Benhayon is so telling – I felt the judgement of society far more than I felt the operation.

  • Reply Rachel Murtagh September 20, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    Condemnation for women is enormous around abortion. I have never had one, so can only imagine the resulting potential trauma for women. To know that there is another way, a way that doesn’t need to be filled with anxiety, shame or regret is amazing. Your blog, Heidi is deeply inspiring.

  • Reply Stephen Gammack September 21, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    How many women go through abortion in traumatised silence, feel pressure and guilt and lots of conflicting emotions. I can’t imagine what it is like, but I can imagine that reading words from someone who has experienced it and come through strong and assured, expressing about it so solidly as Heidi has done could only benefit greatly from the wisdom shared here. An emotive topic for many, but take out the emotion and what do you get to see is playing out?

  • Reply Christoph Schnelle September 27, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    This is a very different description of an abortion and I have never read anything like that, with that calm understanding.

  • Reply Gregory Barnes September 27, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    Until I understood what Love was how could children be considered as I knew I had a loveless existence. Love gives us the understanding that we have to bring a deep level of awareness to bringing up a child so it can retain its essence. As you say Heidi; “We reflect on our behaviours, rhythms, relationship and quality of livingness, confirming our strengths and bringing our focus to areas which need more love.” So at 64 I still have no children of my own other than the community I live in where I share as much Love as I can with all the children.

  • Reply HM September 28, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    As a woman, I can choose to be ashamed of abortion as I have been, and see it as a judgement – but I love what is shared here – that actually we always have a choice. And you sharing this is so empowering of the questions around abortion. I also hugely appreciate the responsibility you are now taking when considering bringing children into the world. How inspiring.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 26, 2017 at 1:58 am

      Such conversations are so important, healing and empowering. It is through sharing our experiences and openly discussing our insights and learning that we can all deepen our awareness and understanding and together evolve.

  • Reply Samantha Davidson September 29, 2017 at 3:58 am

    I love the way you talk about responsibility in this blog, I get a real sense of what it means to live in a relationship with love, in doing so we do not allow for anything but honesty and openness and walk in a shared purpose. No perfection but walking with that purpose allows for us to develop and evolve in a harmonious and loving manner with in ourselves and with each other.

  • Reply Gill Randall October 1, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Heidi, it feels remarkable how you listened to your body and knew for sure what you wanted in this sensitive situation. The support from people around you, your husband and Serge Benhayon allowed you to follow through your actions without the judgements of others often put upon us making us question our way. The quote for Serge pinpoints the crux of the problem being the judgement of it being considered right or wrong in the eyes of society and religion. You KNEW the truth for you, in your body, a great reflection for me to continuously deepen my connection to the body.

    • Reply Chan Ly December 30, 2017 at 7:46 am

      It is powerful and deeply healing when we listen to our body. Also through choosing to let go of any judgement and outside influences is very loving. The support Heidi received was incredible and unheard of anyway else. This is an amazing example of true support, where there is no judgement, blame, shame or imposing, it is simply pure love and an example of true freedom to make a loving choice without any imposing or investment in it being right or wrong.

  • Reply Otto Bathurst October 2, 2017 at 12:58 am

    Wowzzers. This is an amazing read that stopped me in my tracks. A stunning and very powerful confirmation of the choice you made. But what really struck me was how you described the period before the abortion. Amazing to understand the extent to which this ‘other path’ was affecting your truth and then the settlement that you both felt when you had reclaimed that. This is game-changing. I’m going to ponder more on this – for sure!!

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 5, 2017 at 2:50 am

      Very true Otto. This revelation that there is more taking place than meets the eye. Our medical or psychological understanding is nowhere even close to explaining the extent of what was felt and expressed here.
      I am learning every day that there is a yet deeper aspect to us – energetic beings living in a world of energy who adamantly pretend that there is no validity to anything that can not be engaged in on a physical level.

  • Reply Otto Bathurst October 2, 2017 at 1:01 am

    I’m also fascinated by the quote from Natalie Benhayon at the end of your piece and can feel how this is relevant in so many other areas of our lives. The evil of imposition that utterly destroys our confidence in our innate clairsentience and absolute wisdom of the the true choice.

  • Reply Willem Plandsoen October 3, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    The possibility that women indeed can fully chose their own destiny is strongly outlined within The Way of the Livingness. Women and men are regarded as fully equal. This religion gives women the permission to reclaim their power, fully honoring what women can and should bring to society, and that women in fact have a leading role which will change the world. No suppressing of women with dogma’s to cover up men’s evil desire to remain in power, while suppressing women.

  • Reply fiona lotherington October 5, 2017 at 6:49 am

    There was a discussion on the weekend at Universal Medicine about the thick and imposing consciousness that tells women to be ‘good’. We are supposed to be nice, compliant, self-sacrificing, compliant etc. I just realised that women being made to feel ashamed of having an abortion is part of this package. We are not supposed to honour our body over the ideal of us being the caring, self-sacrificing woman. Thank you Heidi for speaking up about this and starting to break the stigma and shackles.

  • Reply Vicky Cooke October 8, 2017 at 12:04 am

    And this should be so for every women and young women ‘I was left in the freedom to choose, as an empowered woman in total control of my destiny.’ I was speaking with a colleague the other day at work about abortions (I work in a sexual health and wellbeing service for young people). He was shocked that in Northern Ireland it is illegal to have an abortion he did not even know this. I talked about something I read a while ago where a girl was living in a flat in Northern Ireland with another girl, she fell pregnant and managed to buy abortion tablets online (something I definitely would not advise!) her flat mate found this with blood and tissue in a bin and reported her to the police where she then got arrested. It shocks and saddens me that we still persecute women and young women for making choices they feel are right for them instead of supporting them fully with what they decide. This archaic ill belief regarding abortion needs to change. A women or young women can get pregnant at any time within her cycle even while on her period, that chances may be lower but it is still possible.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh October 26, 2017 at 2:00 am

      It is always a travesty when we let ideals, beliefs and institutions become more important than love, understanding, honouring and deep care of human beings.

  • Reply Lucy Dahill October 17, 2017 at 3:28 am

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I hadn’t considered this side before and yet what you have shared has brought an ease and a settlement in my body. Bizarre really as this is not an experience I have had, but the judgement when felt by one, is perhaps, felt by all.

    • Reply Christoph Schnelle November 13, 2017 at 3:49 pm

      Yes, the judgment really hurts us.

  • Reply Melinda Knights October 24, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    Wow Heidi this was fantastic to read. You offer a broad overview of religious and societal beliefs and judgements, but your experience communicates something very beautiful, that not only was this loving for you and your partner, but that this is how it can be for every woman. A child deserves to also be birthed at a time that is also loving for it. We really don’t have the right to impose onto a woman or her body or choice. An abortion is definitely not an easy process, so every woman deserves our support and the space and freedom to choose what is right for her.

  • Reply Michael Brown October 25, 2017 at 6:30 am

    It’s worth stopping to appreciate just the fact that we can write and read about this sort of thing openly.

  • Reply Lucinda Bathurst October 25, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    Heidi this has bought tears to my eyes, the love, the understanding and support that you placed beside you at this time is palpable. You have re-written the process of abortion, the confirmation and empowerment of following our innate knowing.
    As Natalie has said it is the underlying influence of religious doctrine that taints a decision that can be an opportunity to deepen & confirm our sacred wisdom as women.

  • Reply rosanna bianchini November 5, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Laws like the one that drive millions of women across the globe to unsafe, out-dated and demeaning practices to abort unwanted pregnancies in secrecy are one example of the many laws globally that deny people walking into the situation, prepared, taking responsibility and knowing in full depth what the choice (to become a parent in this case) means.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh November 11, 2017 at 2:40 am

      There are cultures in which the woman has to secretly improvise a way of preventing pregnancy, because this choice is denied. And there are many parts of the world where abortion is denied and many more where it is frowned about.
      All of this seems crazy. In society self harm is so big that there are some swallowing razor blades. Harm of others is so rampant that news no longer even reports it when people commit suicide as a result of cyber-bullying. People are so given up about the natural joy in life that it is rare for people to not use alcohol or drugs in some form. The young spend more time on their gadgets than eye to eye contact.
      So where does this belief that we need to force people to give birth even when they are not ready for such a step come from? Not only is it imposing and unloving, it is also completely irresponsible.

  • Reply Christoph Schnelle November 13, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    It is great that you are mentally capable to write about this subject and it is great that it is legal to do so!

  • Reply sue queenborough November 15, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    There is so much stigma around abortion – legal or otherwise. For areas where it isn’t legal this” results in millions of women across the globe resorting to unsafe, out-dated and demeaning practices to abort unwanted pregnancies in secrecy. ” A woman surely should have the right to choose what happens to and inside her own body, and be availed of safety during the process of her abortion.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 12, 2018 at 6:32 pm

      Completely agree Sue. And conversations such as these are key and significant, because without talking about it and bringing it all out into the open such restrictive stigma, ideals and beliefs will carry on without us ever stopping to reassess the truth and validity of them.

  • Reply Michael Goodhart November 21, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    We as a society don’t seem to have a problem when people distort their bodies through things like plastic surgery, breast implants, tattoos, piercings all over their bodies, etc. , but when a woman decides in the most responsible and loving way (as Heidi has in this blog) that it would not support her body and not be fair to the unborn baby to go ahead with a pregnancy then it seems to attract all kinds of judgement, damnation, and attacks from all over, especially religious organisations like the Catholic church. Wouldn’t it make more sense to allow the same choice to be made by a woman regarding abortion as we do with all the above bodily choices, and why do people get so offended even when the woman having the abortion had been raped? Perhaps considering what it would be like to go through something like that would result in a different viewpoint.

  • Reply Heather Pope November 22, 2017 at 8:30 am

    Thank you for this deeply honest and refreshing account of your feelings and process. Judgement on one another is rife in this world and if it were something that could be seen I imagine it would look like daggers flying around from one person to the next. The ridiculous part is the judgement is based on things like culture, religion and ideals, and as soon as you change any of those for example by moving countries, the whole set of “rules” changes. So what are we basing our judgement on? Certainly not love.

    • Reply Matilda Bathurst January 31, 2018 at 6:12 pm

      It is brilliant to expose the changing nature of the ‘rules’ depending on where we live, our gender, age, culture, religion etc. and the fact that therefore they are not true or in line with what supports and develops us all.

  • Reply Meg November 27, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    What a truly responsible and deeply caring approach to life, if you take out all the emotion, judgement and religious dogma it makes so much sense that you should have total freedom to choose when is the right time or not to have a child, like you experienced the impact on your life and the child’s life if you choose the wrong time is massive and will impact the whole of the rest of your life.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 1, 2017 at 1:47 am

    It is wonderful that Soul-impulsed people like you are starting to stand with no fear, self-doubt or animosity to reclaim the power, grace and responsible ownership of what was lost when we stopped such expression.

  • Reply Adele Leung December 4, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    Thank you for this. There cannot ever be judgement on people having too many children especially in poor countries as the consciousness of sinning when a child has to be aborted is very deeply ingrained. But we do have a choice. From the choice of choosing protection to the choice of abortion, in short, we have the choice to claim our body as the sacredness that it is.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh December 19, 2017 at 4:05 am

    A great deal of care, preparation and dedication is required for bringing a child into the world from the moment of choosing to conceive a child, to the period of carrying it, giving birth and raising it. Just like any other significant activity in life, it is crucial to be honest about your readiness for such an endeavour and the height of responsibility and care to stop the process if anything does not feel right.
    Thankfully we are becoming more discerning of when someone is or is not in the right space to be working with children. Who in their right mind would ever force someone to become a parent when they are clearly stating that it is not the right time for them?

  • Reply Elaine Arthey December 22, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    A very powerful article written in truth with none of the emotional or mental bias that usually runs through writing, presentations or conversations that centre around this topic.

  • Reply Michael Brown December 24, 2017 at 5:40 am

    That quote by Natalie Benhayon at the end is absolute gold! and something that would be wise to heed both individually and as a society.

  • Reply Elizabeth Dolan December 26, 2017 at 12:51 pm

    When there is a true connection with ourselves then we are able to make decisions based on what is true for us and not what others think is right for us.

  • Reply rosanna bianchini December 26, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    Abortion and Religion, two very provocative words, yet as you clearly show us Hiedi by the connection and settlement that came back into your body after termination it’s clear that the choice to end a pregnancy is entirely and very physically made, and cannot be dictated by religious dogma and beliefs.

  • Reply Rebecca December 27, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    An amazing, clear and so needed article – when the world is already suffering from statistics of child abuse, domestic violence, homelessness, poverty, malnutrition, obesity, mental health issues etc, should our focus really be simply on persevering the potential life of a foetus at all costs, over the reality of its quality of life?

  • Reply HM December 30, 2017 at 6:52 am

    Heidi this sharing is very powerful for many women on so many levels. I have had an abortion that was a result of unconsented sex – and it was all kept a secret. An awful thing to go through alone because you feel wrong somehow. But this sharing is so empowering – that it is possible to make a choice felt from the body and claim it in full. And that an abortion is the result of an honest conversation – is this truly the most supportive thing or not? Simple as that.

  • Reply Chan Ly December 30, 2017 at 7:31 am

    Wow Heidi, thank you for this powerful article and for breaking the silence around abortion. What you’ve shared shows how powerful it is when we make a decision based on what feels true and as a result offering a deep healing that ripples out to us all.

  • Reply Leigh Strack December 30, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    The steadiness and absoluteness in the decision made to have a abortion is palpable in this article. It makes me ponder not on abortion versus not aborting, but in the quality of being we are living when such decisions are made.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 11, 2018 at 12:47 am

      A significant point Leigh. We are missing the point when we make it about right or wrong, instead of what is true, harmonious and loving. And especially in challenging moments people could do with greater love, care and support for them to remain clear and steady and choose what is true for themselves.

  • Reply Gabriele Conrad January 1, 2018 at 12:52 pm

    Whether to terminate an unwanted pregnancy or not should be the woman’s decision entirely without any pressures from dogma, ideologies, family or religions.

  • Reply James Nicholson January 1, 2018 at 2:40 pm

    This discussion on abortion is very much needed. So many women and men I have have spoken to have had and/or have been through the process of having an abortion. There is so much stigma around having an abortion and I used to think how could anyone ever do that, as after all, how could anyone not plan a pregnancy and then want to welcome a child, a gift from God, into the world? But there is so much more at play then purely this belief and the notion that the Catholic Church has adopted that abortion is evil and a sin.

    After all what if having an abortion is actually an act of taking responsibility knowing that you are not ready at the time to bring a child into the world and raise it with the love it deserves. And what if there is a medical issue with the child so would not survive for very long so medically an abortion maybe the best option for all parties however hard it may be at the time.

    There is such a stigma around abortions and it is a bit of a silent killer among women and men playing on their emotional state and often gets bottled up rather than fully expressed. The more we can be open, accepting and understanding with each other, the more we will learn and appreciate that things happen, and we are never a failure. Rather in each and every moment, we have an opportunity to learn and grow from, so we can live more and more of the love we all naturally are.

  • Reply Mary January 1, 2018 at 8:13 pm

    This is a much needed blog about abortion and the right for a woman to chose, what after all is a life changing process. There is never a right or a wrong there is always and should always be a right to chose.

  • Reply fiona lotherington January 5, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    I can clearly recall the stigma related to abortion when I was a girl and teenager. Just the dread of facing this made me more careful with contraception! This blog shows me a very different way to be with an abortion, one that is not based on societal judgments but on what is true for the woman at that time. This shows a high level of respect for yourself as a woman first and not being driven by the need to be a good mother, regardless of the timing.

  • Reply Elizabeth Dolan January 5, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    Abortion is a very emotional issue for a lot of people and where there are emotions involves there is no clarity and no possibility of getting to the truth of things.

    • Reply Michael Brown February 5, 2018 at 7:34 am

      What’s beautiful is that there is always clarity and truth on offer

  • Reply Fiona Pierce January 6, 2018 at 6:03 pm

    Thank you Heidi for sharing an such intimate story in a beautifully open and generous way, supporting the dissolution of beliefs and ideals that can impose on women and partners who have this kind of decision to make, everyone should be free and unhindered to decide what feels genuinely true for them.

    • Reply Matilda Bathurst January 31, 2018 at 6:09 pm

      Gosh yes, life without judgement and critique will be super beautiful.

  • Reply Alison Valentine January 7, 2018 at 4:40 am

    I had an abortion in my late 20’s it was a choice both my partner and I made and I never once regretted it or felt bad because we knew it was not the right time and would put an added strain on our relationship. So many children are brought into the world to fulfil our own needs first and not for the child’s own evolutionary development.

  • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh January 7, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    I am touched and moved by the openness and honesty of the sharing in this blog. It offers deep healing in the areas that I have had personal experience of knowing that I am not alone in that, and it inspires a deeper understanding in the areas that I am not as familiar.
    Such conversations that share our experiences, observations, wisdom and understanding with such honesty, responsibility and love of one another will be the cornerstone of our deepening awareness and evolution.

  • Reply Tricia Nicholson January 13, 2018 at 3:21 am

    “Serge Benhayon’s re-founding of The Way of The Livingness presents a refreshing and empowering connection to the deeper truths of life, death, reincarnation and a person’s right to choose his/her path.” What a beautifully wise and knowing sharing of your experiences with religion and abortion and the way women are held in the world Heidi. This is so supportive for all women and young girls espcially and revolutionary with the love and wisdom offered for us all.

  • Reply Rebecca January 17, 2018 at 3:12 am

    We have made the conversation around abortion one of great complication – at the beginning of pregnancy when the baby is still unformed, the choice needs to be given to the woman over her body and her life, to choose what is true for her and in doing so honor the baby by not bringing it into a life that is not the fullest love and support it could be

  • Reply Andrew Mooney January 18, 2018 at 7:52 am

    I have frequently had the experience of knowing something was true for me in my very bones but feeling the tension of the difference between the knowing I have and what the world tells me I should be or do. When I go against my knowing it literally pounds my body and exhausts it. When I honour my knowing without any doubt I feel expanded, light and vital in my body. I know which way to live I prefer.

  • Reply jennym January 18, 2018 at 7:53 am

    I feel such a deep level of self care and compassion you had for yourself Heidi in this situation, combined with a deep commitment to hold to what was true for you. Very inspiring.

  • Reply Michael Brown January 22, 2018 at 8:27 am

    The first step to dealing with these ‘heavy topics’ is to express them as if we were describing the weather, without charge or investment and which is what you have done so beautifully here Heidi.

  • Reply Sylvia Brinkman January 25, 2018 at 1:17 am

    The harm is not the abortion but the imposing energies women get put on by their choices to honor themselves.
    Even not spoken it is felt by all women. The believe that you are wrong to do abortion is hanging in the sky.

    • Reply Golnaz Shariatzadeh February 4, 2018 at 7:31 am

      So true Sylvia. Conversations such as this and insightful sharing such as Heidi’s are much needed so that all women with experience of abortion know they are not alone and also we can deepen the clarity, understanding and empowerment in this area for everyone.

  • Reply Rebecca January 26, 2018 at 7:41 am

    Amazing – lifting the lid on this deeply controversial topic and bringing light to a very dark corner

  • Reply Rik Connors January 28, 2018 at 10:15 am

    Heidi, the support you provide to others through this testament of having an abortion is proven by the settlement within both you and your husband’s body during and, thereafter. Super well done! What more is there to say but to educate all in this very supportive loving reflection.

  • Reply Matilda Bathurst January 31, 2018 at 6:07 pm

    This is a very beautiful, humbling and inspiring article and I am uncomfortable but appreciative of some beliefs and judgement that it has exposed in me, none of which I want to live with. So I now have the opportunity to keep these beliefs and opinions out in the open for careful review and release. The truth comes from our bodies as you share so clearly, Heidi, thank you.

  • Reply HM February 2, 2018 at 12:33 am

    Being newly pregnant has been interesting to observe how the hospital responds to me. I notice how they see it as something that is a gift and amazing. Sure it is, but my choice was to have a test to determine the health of the baby, and I made it clear that if the baby was not in good health, then I would terminate it. The doctors seemed surprised at this response as if they expected me to be attached to this baby no matter what. So I simply observed this and noted how we still have a pressure in society to keep babies rather than choosing what may be best for our bodies and the baby.

  • Reply Elizabeth Dolan February 5, 2018 at 6:30 am

    Our body is made of divine particles therefore we have a right to support it in the way that we seem fit which may mean to abort when we are not ready for a child.

    • Reply Nico van Haastrecht February 17, 2018 at 4:27 pm

      I agree Elizabeth, women do know if they are ready to have a child in their life or not and that is something as a society we have to appreciate and support as much as we can.

  • Reply Tricia Nicholson February 10, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    A deeply honest real and supportive sharing on abortion and the responsibility we have for our lives and the dogmas imposed on women in society that keep one suffering and in turmoil that could so easily be differently approached with true love and understanding. Refreshing simple clear and level headed approach from the soul to something carrying so much repression and stigmatism.

  • Reply Nico van Haastrecht February 17, 2018 at 4:23 pm

    I do appreciate your honesty in this blog very much Heidi, as I do feel the importance of it being shared in this way. In how you describe how you are honouring your delicacy and sacredness you are to me a role model for how all women could be. And when women do reclaim this quality that is naturally there, the man made rules on what is right and wrong on abortion will loose their foundations and will fall apart completely.

  • Reply julie Matson February 23, 2018 at 6:22 am

    How different is this account of abortion from what we are used to hearing? We often have this perception that the women are racked with guilty feelings and then punishes herself for the rest of her life. What a relief to know that it doesn’t have to be that way.

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